Coming Home
by insanity and co
Summary: Adventures sound all grand and dandy, I'm always up for a little quest. But I didn't sign up for this, and now I'm a hobbit, I can't find home and I'm stuck with someone who isn't even my friend! And I most definitely didn't sign up to go out with dwarves to slay a dragon. A dragon! I'm entitled to a little meltdown, here, and I place the blame on the shoulders of my companion.
1. Chapter 1 edit: 01-14-14

**Coming Home**

_~insanity and co~_

Rated M for some violence and swearing.

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_01/14/14 Edit:_ _Thanks to Rae01 for pointing out some minor problems. :) If there's anything you guys notice (I don't care if it's grammar, plot, spelling...etc) please feel free to point it out in either review or PM._

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So, looking back I'm not too sure where to begin. I could tell you all about the wonderful life of Holly Morgan and the events leading up to...well...we've been calling it "when we got lost". You can hear all about what lead up to this, or I can just give you the shorter version. You'll get all the info you need and then we can move on to the _interesting_ stuff, i.e. everything that happened since my friend, Cody, and I came to Middle Earth.

I guess that's a little too far ahead, though. All you need to know is that I wanted to go over to an old friend's house for an innocent hang out session.

And that's all that happened. I went over to Cody's house, we hung out, watched TV, and talked about how stupid and silly we were as kids and how much we miss those times. We talked about how much I hated my job and how his boyfriend was getting a little pudgy. I couldn't stay long, though, I had work the next morning-

God, this version is boring. And I sort of feel back writing a lie.

Okay, so...the _real_ story began when I went to an old friend's house (_that part was true!_) but there was massive amount of booze involved, and I had decided to say 'fuck you, work, I'll come in hung over as all hell if I please'. Yeah, so that's how it started.

To be honest, I'm not really sure how it ended. To this day I don't know what happened after the third or fourth drink. Thinks got hazy, we looked at old pictures, we started crying, we laughed some more because he was making this ugly-ass pansy crying face, and then we decided to go for a walk and put rum in water bottles in all of our drunken sneakiness...because yeah, you can totally hide rum in a clear bottle. I guess that's something that only works when you're wasted.

From then on, after we left for the walk, I have no idea what happened.

He doesn't either, by the way. I asked. That was actually one of the first things I asked him when we woke up.

I knew I wasn't inside, I definitely knew that the second the bile hit the back of my throat and I awoke faster than ever before. I gripped the grass under my hands as I knelt over, my stomach turning over the glorious meal I had eaten the day before (a piece of fruit, which, now that I think about it, could be why I got so wasted in the first place).

The grass was cold and wet, and I wondered briefly if we both passed out on his lawn. That would be a first - I had yet to be a public drunken spectacle. This wouldn't be a first for him, by the way.

I know this all makes me sound like a horrible drunken idiot, in such a stupor that I didn't even know we weren't on _E__arth_ anymore. I assure you, I am normally one of utmost intelligence: it just so happens that my childhood friend, Cody, tends to turn me into, well...a bumbling idiot who says too much and, more often than not, drinks too much. I really don't know how it all started, but it was our glorious relationship to this day. Get bored one day, feel like reminiscing, texting him with something eloquent like, 'Dude! Let's totally get wasted!' and then _viola_. We wake up with a hangover, I'm usually pissed at him and he's usually tired of me by the time I'm putting my shoes on and gathering my things. I think we just realize why we aren't friends past the drinking-buddies-stages anymore. We go our separate ways, and the cycle continues again when one of us sees an old picture or, I dunno...just _feels_ like coming together.

_Anyway_, it usually ends in me waking up on his couch and going to work the next day.

This time was a little different.

This time, after I looked up and shuddered at the disgusting feeling (I _hate_ throwing up), I looked around for him. He wasn't far away, sprawled out on the grass like he had just been walking along and _bam_, on the ground he went. His face was turned to me and I could see he was asleep. His mouth hung open and _ewww_, I could see that dreaded tongue piercing. Don't ask why, I just really don't like them, especially the way he sticks his tongue out extra far at me just so I'll see it. Yeah, he's a jerk like that. Now do you see why we don't talk to each other for months at a time? Shit like that is being pulled all the time.

I sat back on my legs for a moment, just blinking and breathing and - _oh god_ - trying not to throw up again.

"Wake up," I groaned, crawling over to him and punching his shoulder, my head pounding and the ground seeming to jerk around under my knees. He didn't move, but then again, I didn't expect him to. He slept like a _stone_, especially after a night like that. "Come on, time to wakey-wakey."

This time I poked his face; his cheek, his chin, finally his eye just to try and get a reaction out of him to make sure he was alive.

Nothing.

Okay, that was a little weird. Normally people, even people sleeping off a massive hangover, at least flinched a little when you jab them in the eye. He did nothing.

Something cold ran through me and it only seemed to push the bile back to my face-hole.

I shook his shoulder, _hard_ this time.

"Wake up you fat, lazy bastard. Now!" Still nothing. "Damn it!"

I punched his arm again for good measure and sat back on the ground beside him, my butt immediately becoming wet from the dew. I looked around and noticed more trees than usual...but no apartment complex. Okay, that was a little odd. But it wasn't too unusual for us to wander off sometimes. Maybe we had gone over to another friend's house. I remember texting Rebecca at some point in the night. But these trees didn't look familiar. I knew the trees at home, large evergreens and pines with ferns surrounding the roots and sometimes some holly and thickets. Our home was known for these large forests. These were massive trees, with large roots that seemed to jut out of the ground, just begging you to trip over them.

"Okay, lazy, up." I don't know what did it - his lack of response or that cold feeling in my stomach of not knowing where I was - just, something _snapped_. My nose began to run and my eyes watered and I punched Cody's side, pushing and pulling at his shoulders. His arm flapped around uselessly before I finally let him go and sat back again, and that was when I noticed something particularly weird.

He was _huge_. Cody was several inches taller than me, but we were around the same size. At the time, I thought it was just because he was lying down and I was up. Either way, it didn't help that extra little jolt of panic that ran through me and -_ oh god_ - now I was crying, all thoughts of height gone.

"Get up, fat-ass, I want to go home. I'm not carrying your bitch-butt back, you'll crush me." I laughed a little at my own insult, but he didn't so much as twitch. His mouth hung open and his breaths came out in short, small bursts.

Okay, so by now I wasn't feeling so great, myself. My head was throbbing, my throat was burning from _revisiting_ my yesterday-food and my stomach was hurting. I still get that from time to time, when I just feel anxious or scared my stomach starts to hurt, but at this time, it just made things ten times worse.

"Ugh!" I groaned and threw myself back on the ground, my head hitting the grass a little harder than I had meant to and my hand flew to my stomach. Okay, so not such a good idea.

I laid on the ground for a little bit, aware of the fact that I was a blubbering _mess_, crying, snot-nosed, hiccupping and just in my own little world of self-pity that felt so right and justified in that moment. I couldn't bring myself to care.

"Oh god, just wake up!" I threw my foot out at him and that's when I noticed something else - my shoes were gone. And the foot I was looking at, currently snug against Cody's own leg, was a hairy-ass foot that was sure-as-hell not mine. There was _hair_, and the foot was _huge_.

I let out a scream and tried to back away, realizing too late that the hairy, gross, _large_ foot was following me. So hung-over-Holly isn't that smart, okay? It still happened, I'm not proud of it.

"Hello?" A deep voice called back and in a moment of insanity, I wondered if that voice had come out of my throat. I shook my head, feeling even worse than before and scrambled to kneel beside Cody's head.

"Wake up, someone's here. We can get home, I'm going to be late for work." Honestly, work was the last thing on my mind but the voice called out again and I really couldn't let this help just wander off. "Ugh, fine."

I slowly stood, learning my lesson from throwing myself on the ground, and walked - _okay, staggered_ - over in the direction I had heard the voice. A fresh wave of tears came down when I went over everything in my head. I hurt. A lot. Everything hurts and my nose won't stop running and Cody won't wake up and I don't know where we are and I just want a shower and to go curl up in bed.

I saw just a glimpse of one of them over a hedge of bushes and my blood ran cold. I nearly fell to the ground in my attempt to get away and now I began shaking, feeling absolutely frozen in place. I know it sounds cliche, but until you feel it for yourself that's the only way to describe it. From my chest to the tips of my fingers and my bare-toes, I felt icy cold and all of a sudden I was _panicking._

An axe. I had seen an _axe_.

People walking around a forest for fun do not carry an _axe_.

People looking for a lost dog in the woods do not carry an _axe_.

The only thing running through my mind at the moment was '_axe-murderer_'. Oh god, we were going to be murdered by a man weilding an axe.

"Who's out there?" The voice was deep and rough, and there were more voices that followed. I didn't even try to make out what they said, I just wanted to get away from the group of axe-murderers.

They were coming closer and I stumbled back, my legs hitting a large root over a large root and I swore, struggling to right myself again and digging into the pocket of my jeans for what I knew was there, the only thing I could use to protect us. My nose was running, my eyes were still watery and I knew I was on the verge of crying by the constant lump in my throat. I'm sure I looked like a mess - hung over and hair wild and bare feet. All of that little stuff disappeared when those noises grew louder. I grabbed the knife and flipped the cold and dirty blade out, holding it in my hand uneasily as the axe-murderers came closer. The heavy footfalls came were mere feet away and several twigs cracked. I held my breath and could see the knife shaking in my hand, but I swear I was holding it as steadily as I could.

God, could I even _use_ this if I had to? It had always been for sharpening pencils and holding in my hand to feel safe when I'm walking alone at night. I never kept it with the intention of using it _against_ somebody. The thought had my free hand flying up to my mouth again to suppress the urge to throw up.

A voice quietly muttered, "Over there," and I don't think I even had a full second to react. The bushes before me shifted and a long, silver sword that was - _Jesus Christ!_ - well over the length of my arm flashed golden as it reflected the sun on it's way to my throat. It was absolutely massive, and once I got over the shock of having it pointed directly at me - the cold edge hovering so close to my skin I could feel it - I finally noticed that yes, there was a hand holding that sword.

I look back on this now and cringe. Just..._cringe_! The knife immediately fell from my hand as if I was burned and I let out the weirdest squeal I had ever heard before. Like, seriously. Moose getting eaten by a squirrel, _weird_. I'm looking back on my actions and they're just...so _weak_.

It wasn't until the man actually spoke that I looked away from the sword to see who it was walking through the woods.

"What is a she-hobbit doing so far from the Shire?"

Okay...so I didn't exactly know how to respond to that. Hobbits, she-hobbits, the Shire...he might as well have just grunted in that deep voice and I would have gathered the same amount of information. I suppose I didn't look all that intelligent, just staring at this massive man with a braided beard and sword and - _was that armor?_ - I probably still should have come up with something better...more sophisticated to blurt out.

For a moment, just now, I thought about changing the events of this particular meeting. Maybe to make myself look less, well, foolish. Vulnerable. _Weak_. At the time I couldn't think of any other thing to do, but now that I know the people before me were friend, not foe, everything I did from then on was just cringe-worthy. Necessary, at the time, but just 'put-foot-in-mouth' cringe-worthy because I _know_ I don't normally say these things or act like this. I won't change anything, by the way. I'll tell it like it happened, just don't think any less of me. Yeah?

"Hobb- Wha?"

"I asked you, what a hobbit is doing so far from the Shire?" He was growing impatient. Now that I had calmed down and was able to breathe normally, I noticed there were more of them. Behind the large man stood three more, all with even _more_ hair and braids than this one. I caught another glimpse of the axe and gulped.

Okay, so maybe we were near a reenactment of some ancient war, or perhaps Pirates of the Caribbean. Johnny had a braided beard in those movies, right? Well, they didn't look like they were exactly dressed as pirates. The sword fit the bill pretty well, though.

"What the fuck's a 'Shire'? Who are you?" For some reason, I was a little disappointed when they didn't just say something like, "_Oh, my name's Brad and we're reenacting a film._" Because really, everything that was coming out of his mouth right now made zero sense to me.

"My name is Fili," -_ where does someone go around getting a name like that?_ - "son of Dis, nephew of Thorin Oakenshield." There was a pause where we just stared at each other. Perhaps he was waiting for a reaction? Was any of that supposed to mean something?

"Who?"

His sword lowered a fraction of an inch before someone behind him piped up - a darker haired man with no braids - _sanity!_ - but a whole lot of stubble. I suppose his wild-ass hair sort of made him look just as crazy as the others. The man before me - Fili - looked down at me with confusion, sword still positioned a little too close to my throat for comfort. The darker one, on the other hand, looked down at me with suspicion and uneasiness.

"Don't answer, we still don't know what she was doing sneaking around the bushes." That last bit, he aimed at me and stepped out from behind Fili with a bow in his hand. Okay...so war reenactment was looking like more of a possibility. I couldn't quite remember seeing bows and arrows in the lasted Depp movie.

"I wasn't _sneaking_," I defended, and right at that moment, Cody - _you idiot!_ - decided to let out a cry. Like, a _loud,_ pained cry. I immediately cringed, and the men in front of me turned in his direction. Thankfully, this meant the sword left my neck and my little knife that was looking more and more useless against a fucking _sword_ by the seconds, was at my feet and begging me to pick it up. I did, trying not to puke as I knelt down, and it still felt awkward in my grasp.

"Who was that?" The dark haired man turned to me, eyebrow raised and already stepping in that direction. His dark eyes flickered to my knife but he didn't seem alarmed, which pissed me off a little more than it should have.

I panicked, right then. All of them were turning to check out who had made that noise and I immediately jumped in front of their path, the sudden motion making my stomach turn and I am so glad I didn't puke right then and there on their feet. I still don't know what possessed me to do it, but I raised the little weapon I had in front of me, making sure to point it directly at Fili. See how _he_ likes having something sharp pointed at him.

"Leave him alone." God, it was _pathetic_ how easily that dark haired man pushed me aside, his large size easily towering over mine. I stumbled and scrambled for something to hold on to - a tree - and the men moved past me to where Cody was.

Oh god, men with _swords_ were going to be coming at him. I still had no idea where we were but waking up to that would be a little too much of a shock for him. He may deny that now and claim that he would have handled it just fine, but I don't believe him for a second. They drew closer to the clearing, me racing after them and damn it! Why were they so freaking tall and fast? I managed to slide in front of them again, feeling more like a _mad woman_ as I raised my weapon.

It was no use now, though, they had already seen the lump of spiky hair and too-tight clothes that was Cody, laying in the grass.

"Stay _away_ from him." This time, when another one of the men tried to push past me, a short white-haired one a little closer to my own height, I took a swing at him. Oh, they didn't like that very much. Fili - the one with the large sword - immediately grabbed my wrist _way too tight_ and twisted my arm. The knife went falling from my hand embarrassingly fast and I was left to yelp and turn, trying hard to keep my arm from being twisted too far because _god dammit_ that hurt. "Let me go!"

He didn't, by the way. His huge hand completely engulfed my wrist and all the pulling and jerking I was doing didn't seem to phase him one bit. He loosened his grip, but I was sure there would be a bruise by now, anyway. Any worry I had for my aching wrist was gone when I heard the men around Cody chatting lightly. One even laughed and I wondered if we would get mugged. Or kidnapped. Or _murdered_.

The other men stepped forward to inspect Cody closer. I tugged uselessly at my arm, trying to wrench it from his grasp. I even tried that little thing my mom taught me, pushing my hand forward and twisting sharply to throw his hand off - it didn't work. I threw myself down at the ground, reaching out of the knife that was mere inches away from my feet but was raised back up by my arm.

I turned back to the sword-bearing man, glaring angrily and still struggling to get away. At that point, my feet were barely touching the ground and _how the hell was he lifting me up?_ I was closer to six foot than not and Cody would even have a hard time giving me a piggy-back ride. Yeah, okay, I like food. Doesn't everybody? My body just wasn't made for the kind of feasting I liked and it felt so weird being lifted off the ground by _one_ arm.

"Do you reckon he's alright?" At this, I turned back to the men who had now circled around Cody's unconscious form, each holding a various weapon that made my stomach turn. There was an axe, a bow, a shorter sword and oh my god, was that a mace? Why did they need a mace?

"I think the lass's just trying to protect her friend, Fili. Let her go." One of them laughed, and the hand around my wrist finally let go.

"'The lass'?" I echoed, immediately holding my aching wrist to my chest and reaching down for my knife. "Where are you from, Ireland? Stop!" I yelled out when a particularly elderly looking man with a long-ass beard knelt down beside Cody. He looked up and despite my irritation and fear and anger, I saw his small kind smile as he looked my friend's unconscious body over.

"What's your name?" I was moving over to the group of huge men when the dark haired man turned away from where the others had gathered and was now facing me, stopping me in my tracks. I immediately tightened my grip on my trusty little knife.

"I'm not telling you_ a thing_ until you tell me where we are." Okay, so I'm normally not so short with people, I swear! It was just the whole 'lost' thing and 'swords' thing and 'fucking mace' thing that had me in full-on bitchy mode.

"You do not know?" I could feel my face burn red at the humor in the dark-haired man's voice and I could almost feel myself, like, swelling up with all the frustration and damn _anger_ flowing through me at that moment as he dodged my question. I was the one dodging questions, here. "Bree, just east of the Shire."

_Again_ with the Shire.

"Yeah, that's great, but that doesn't really help us." I moved my hand so he wouldn't see me twisting my wrist around, trying to work out the ache that had settled in since Fili had twisted it. It was no use. "We should be near Seattle." He gave me a blank stare, which made no sense at all. Even people on the other side of this _world_ knew where Seattle was. "Everett?" Still nothing. "Marysville? Maybe we went and saw Rebecca or something, but we should be within a bus-ride of Seattle."

"I have no idea what she's talking about," the man said, turning to the other men with a shake of his head.

The only things that crossed my mind were 'They really stick to their characters' and 'Oh god, we're really lost' before I sort of, well...passed out. Yeah, not the best way to enter Middle Earth and not the best first impression either. It was just not a good day in general, if you caught onto that yet: lots of puking, lots of me _attempting_ to fight and lots of me embarrassing myself beyond my normal spectrum of embarrassing myself.

I would like to say that the following days got better, but they didn't.

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_Author's Note:_ _So, here we go! We begin the adventures of Holly and Cody...not so great friends as they try and get home again. Criticism is greatly appreciated, I'm trying very very hard to create a _good_ self-insert (and Cody__-insert) and would like to know what's working and what's not so I can go through and fix things up all nice and well. :)_


	2. Chapter 2

**Coming Home**

_~insanity and co~_

_Author's Note: Yay! You've returned. Curious about what happens when Holly wakes up? Read on!_

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The second time I woke up in Middle Earth, I thought I was really waking up back home. That was such a wonderful relief. Once more, I felt around and the grass under my fingers was cold, but dry. I sighed, feeling a little better than I had in my dreams. Much better, actually.

Maybe the extra sleep really did me good. My head still ached, but I couldn't hear the blood pounding through my ears anymore and the warmth around me made me feel like just snuggling into the grass and going back to sleep. I thanked God that I had apparently puked all I needed to in my dream, because my stomach was now hurting only a little bit. That was to be expected, though, and I let out a long sigh, feeling surprisingly comfortable just lounging in Cody's yard. A cold breeze blew past me and I shivered a bit, but as soon as it came it was gone and the warmth seeped back into my skin.

It was the voices around me that alerted me to the fact that I was not alone in Cody's yard. They were deep, but quiet and once more, I was jolted awake so fast my head began to spin. Large men. Strange area. Shire. _Axes_. It all came crashing back and I felt sick again.

I opened my eyes but the flickering lights around me sent my head back into a painful frenzy and I squeezed them shut again. I gripped the grass on either side of my legs and had to hold my head for a moment until the world stopped spinning around me. Okay, so I only felt great when I wasn't moving at all. Noted.

"Ah, there are you, Holly-kins. Welcome to the world of the waking." Cody's cheerful voice brought my focus away from my spinning head and to the fact that it was quite a bit darker than I was expecting. Light flickered against my jeans, jumping up and down and making me feel a little motion-sickness just by watching it.

"Hey Codes," I grumbled, massaging my head and twisting in the direction of his voice. It was then that the voices, deep and rumbling, started again.

"She's still not feeling well." _Very interesting observation. We have an Einstein in the group._

"Must still be tired."

"Bifur should have something that should help your head, Miss."

I really didn't know how to respond to that, though it was clearly aimed toward me. The only men to call me 'miss' were the ancient customers at work who thought it was absolutely delightful to be all flirty with young cashiers. And what was a 'Bifur'?

I could finally keep my eyes open enough to see that Cody was sitting amongst the men around a fire. He sat with a shit-eating grin on his face and his legs stretched out before him and bread in his hand. I was caught between really really wanting a piece of that bread and throwing up at the sight of food.

"What are you grinning at?" I felt around the pocket of my jeans - my knife was gone and suddenly I felt more vulnerable than before, sitting just feet away from huge men with their weapons laying at their feet.

"You're a Hobbit." Cody laughed, pointing a finger at me and delicately tearing a piece of bread. Apparently, whatever the hell I was supposed to be was just hilarious. _Fantastic_.

"A She-Hobbit," the older, white haired man corrected, tipping a wooden pipe in my direction. A ring of smoke flew from his mouth and joined in with the smoke from the fire, dispersing into the dark air above.

"Right, a She-Hobbit. Thank you, Balin," Cody grinned. I was taken aback, and understandably so! He was grinning, and I had been scared shitless when I first met them. What the hell did they say to him to make him think they were our _friends_? They carried weapons, for god sakes, and nothing like the tiny knife that was now not in my pocket.

"So what the hell is that, if you're so damn smart all of a sudden?" I aimed that at my friend, missing the odd looks that I got from the other men.

"Not sure." Cody shrugged, turning back to bite into his food.

"Fine, so what are you?" I shot back, sitting up a little straighter to try and match the height of the men around the fire. It felt so foreign to be shorter than so many people, and I didn't like it one bit.

"What do you mean?" His smile fell so fast that I cracked a grin, myself. There was something off about him, though. I had been right in thinking he was huge before. He sat just as tall as the men around him, his shoulders broader and (I would have to remember to laugh at him a bit for this) his nose was a little bigger.

"Perhaps these questions are meant for Gandalf," Balin cut in right as I opened my mouth. "You two will meet him soon enough," he answered the questioning looks from the two younger men.

It was then that I noticed Fili and the darker haired man beside him, sitting close to the fire with their bow and sword laying beside them. My knife lay in the pile, looking pathetically tiny beside the large sword. I still wanted it back, though, and it was the darker man who noticed where I was staring.  
He grinned around a mouth full of food - _eww, queue the urge to puke, once more_ - and picked up my knife with a thumb and forefinger, dangling it in the air so the blade caught the light of the fire.

"You can have this," he gave the knife a small wiggle, "when you stop stabbing at us."

"You _stabbed_ them?" Cody burst out, a bit of miscellaneous food flying from his mouth and I shuddered. No food for me, I doubted I could hold anything down with the way they were all chowing down.

"You don't have to sound so surprised, they started it! He had his _sword_ at my throat," I said, pointing at accusing finger at Fili who just smiled back, maybe a little apologetically.

"She didn't actually harm any of us. Kili, you can give her back the knife." The darker man - _Kili_ - shared a look with Fili that Cody seemed to find absolutely hilarious. I really wanted to just jump across the fire and wipe that irritating grin off his face, but something hit my shoulder and I had to scramble to catch it before it hit the ground. Kili had flicked my knife close and tossed it to me.

_Oh Kili, you fool._ I held the knife tightly in my hand. Like hell I would put it away when their own weapons were so close to them. I eyed that axe, laying at the feet of a balding man who still managed to have quite a viking-style beard.

"I apologize for scaring you earlier." Fili smiled, taking a long wooden pipe from Kili's offering hand and let out a large puff of smoke. "That was not my intention."

"You didn't _scare_ me." I shot back, defensively. _Okay, so he had._

"Oh come on, scaredy-cat. They won't bite." Cody patted the ground beside him, scooting a little to the side to make room for me by the fire.  
I really didn't want to go and sit by them. I wanted to run away from them, and here Cody was, inviting me over to have a bite to eat around a campfire with giant men carrying weapons through the woods. That-that just doesn't happen!

"I'm fine over here, thank you."

"Geeze, what's got you all worked up?"

"'What's got me all _worked up_?' Did it ever occur to you that we are _not home_? We are near _Bree_ - wherever the hell that is - and apparently no one where knows where Seattle is. _Seattle_! Who the fuck doesn't know where Seattle is?" It felt like all that anger and anxiety that I had been holding back just burst forward without my permission. I threw my arms out to the men around the fire, who just watched my little meltdown with mildly interested looks. One even let the pipe fall from his mouth, jaw dropping. Cody sat with his bread in his hand and paused with it halfway to his mouth. "By the way, you weren't waking up! I thought you were dying so I went to find help and found _giants_ who could as well be murderers! They have an axe! Why the fucking hell does someone need an axe? Do you know why I'm all _worked up_ now?" Okay, so I felt a bit better after that little outburst, but me pointing an accusing finger at the axe had it's owner sending me a glare. Note to self: avoid that one.

"We're not giants, lass." The largest of them all - the one with the axe - laughed, that glare dropping from his face rather fast. Oh, goody. _Bipolar giants!_ "Dwarves." _Dwarves!_

At this, they all seemed to grin, shoulders setting with pride. I threw my hands up again.

"Oh, of course. _Dwarves_. Silly me." I turned to face Cody a little more directly. "We're in _fucking Snow White_ and the-" I paused to count them. "-four d_warves_."

"God, stop being such a bitch."

_"What?"_

"Calm down, they're going to help us." Cody waved off my shocked expression. _He was _believing _them! _"Just shut up and come sit by the fire." Again, he patted the space between himself and Kili.

I sighed and weighed my options. I _was_ absolutely freezing. My jacket was thin and most definitely not meant for late nights in the forest. I was in no way _scared_ of the dark, but these forests already gave me the creeps. They were absolutely silent, the only sound being the dwarves and the cackling of the fire, and the shadows jumped for my legs as the light flickered. I wasn't Cody's biggest fan at the moment - the others seemed fascinated in him - but he was kind-of-sort-of my friend...well, used to be. At this point, however, he was more my friend that the weapon-wielding dwarves, so I stood and brushed off my jeans with a huff, holding my little knife tightly in my hand and coming to sit beside the fire and watching the dwarves carefully.

"And they're _not_ axe-murderers," Cody added in a whisper. My face grew red when the large one across the fire - the one with the axe - tilted his head to listen to our comments.

"Shut up," I grumbled, looking away and watching the forest line again. God, this area was _creepy_.

A piece of bread was broken off of a large chunk in Balin's hands, and he passed it around the fire to me. I accepted it and thanked him, feeling extremely awkward as I flicked open my knife and cut off a small piece. I was not hungry, quite the opposite, actually, but it was a kind gesture. You don't offer bread to someone you intend to kill. I nibbled on it and looked away when Cody took a particularly _gross_ bite from his bread.

"Feeling better? It's warm," he grinned, extending his hands to the fire and rotating them. I did feel warmer, but I don't know about _better_. My stomach still flipped every once in a while and I felt on edge, anxious, ready to dart back into the shadows the second one of them made a grab for their weapons.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He didn't buy it, I could tell from the half-laugh-half-sneeze thing he did and tipped his head down to give me a 'you're a horrible liar, Holly' look. He actually had to tilt his head quite far to look at me from under his eyebrows.

"So, what is a She-Hobbit doing in these parts, anyway?" Balin asked.

"What's a Hobbit?" Okay, so this got me some weird stares and I looked down at my bread, my face burning red. I _hated_ people staring at me.

"A tiny person, I think they're kind of like midgets. Something about men crossed with fairies, I think. You're tiny," Cody giggled. _Well isn't _that_ just comforting_. "Fili was telling me about them. Most of you-folk live over in the Shire, a town a bit...er, _that_ way." I looked around and finally pointed behind us.

Kili snorted. "That way," he corrected, pointing to our lefts.

"Right, that way. Anyway, I have no idea what's going on here, so don't ask me."

"So who _can_ I ask?"

"Gandalf'll be the one to talk to, Miss. We'll be meeting him at Mr. Baggin's Hobbit Hole, maybe another day's traveling." I didn't even want to ask what a Hobbit Hole was, but Balin seemed confident in this Gandalf person.

"How do you not know what a Hobbit is? Even people from far south who've never seen one before know of them," Kili asked, bewildered. Again I felt my face burn red. I didn't want to look up from my bread to see them all staring at me, so I inspected the food I was given. It tasted odd, but not bad. Just earthy and a little stale.

"Let's not badger them with questions," the largest one spoke, and I felt a sudden rush of gratitude to the could-be-axe-murderer. Yeah, that's right, Cody's words _be damned_ he could still murder us in our sleep. "Let them speak with him before they confide in us."

"So, who's Gandalf?" Cody asked, folding his legs up beneath him.

"Gandalf the Gray, a wise wizard," Balin explained. "I've only met him a handful of times, but he's always had an insightful view of the world, and his knowledge of oddities far extends past ours."

Cody hummed and brushed the crumbs from his lap. "I don't want to alarm you, Holly," Cody said, face suddenly very serious as he turned to face me with wide eyes. Of course, I felt a sudden jolt of alarm at his comment. "But in this place, we're considered...odd."

I was so too worked up to just let that go. I reached out and punched Cody's shoulder as hard as I could, letting out a long breath that I had been holding in.

"Jesus Christ!" He yelped and held his shoulder. I couldn't help but grin at his shocked expression. "Your tiny hands are like needles." Okay, he was so going down. I aimed another punch but he scrambled out of the way and sat across the fire between Balin and the bald one. Leaving me between Fili and Kili.

"Remember that next time," I grinned, pointing a finger in his direction. I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms across them, having finished my bread and was now listening to the two dwarves beside me badger Cody with more questions.

"Are hairless dwarves normal where you're from?"

"Is that natural?"

"How often do you have to shave?"

"Do you grow stubble?"

"Why are your clothes so tight?"

"Is that normal where you're from, too?" Once the questions started from Kili, they were fired at Cody so fast he didn't have a chance to answer.

"Oh, he's far from normal," I cut in, grinning at the glare Cody sent me, but turning to talk to Kili and Fili. "I don't think I know anyone naturally hairless, he has stubble if he doesn't shave for a few days-" The dwarves around me all blanched at that. "-and he is _not_ normal where we come from." Cody sent me a particularly nasty look. "But there are lots of not-so-normal-people."

"Like you," he said pointedly.

We played this game a lot - normally with lots of beer involved - but I went right into it without skipping a beat. My mouth hung open and I tried my best to look offended.

"Me? Shut up, queer, I'm totally normal."

His hand flew to his heart and he 'tsked' me, grin slowly returning to his face.

"Oh, sweet, naive, Holly-kins. You are _weird_."

"Shut up!"

"I swear to god you can't remain calm for long. You have these little anxiety attacks or you get all mean and mad-"

"Only because you _are infuriating!_"

"-You snore. You snort. You think you're athletic but you're not-"

"Asshole."

"You can be a _bitch_."

"Cunt."

"Whore."

_"Butt-bitch."_

Okay, so that last one had us breaking the instant I yelled it out. Cody and I both laughed hard, but the dwarves around us looked bewildered (and Balin looked quite offended at hearing the language).

"Maybe it's time for us to go to sleep now," Balin cut in. Cody was still laughing and I had just recovered. As much as he bothered me, Cody and I always had a blast insulting each other and coming up with the weirdest insults we could find in the depths of our gutter-brains. He normally won, and I would break into fits of giggles first, so I felt a little victorious having won this battle.

"I miss hanging out with you," Cody said, ignoring Balin's comment and resting his chin in his hand.

I smiled a little bit and returned a polite, 'me too', but I'm not sure how much of it was true. I did miss hanging out with him _occasionally_, but we were never together for more than a few hours before we were too drunk to care if the other person was annoying as all hell.

"Do you two have some supplies? A sleeping bag, spare clothes..." Balin gave us a weird look when we both shook our heads, but apparently decided not to ask further questions. I could still see that he was curious. It probably was weird to see two odd travelers completely unprepared at screaming at each other. "Right. Fili, Dwalin." Balin nodded to the two dwarves, "We have some spare cloaks you two can use for the night. I can't guarantee they'll keep you as warm as a sleeping bag will, but Bifur and Bombur should each have a spare blanket with them when we reach Bree."

Fili and Dwalin each turned to search through the large packs behind them. Fili pulled out a large blue cloak, similar to the one wrapped around his shoulders, and handed it to me. I thanked him and quickly wrapped the thick fabric around my shoulders. It was surprisingly warm, and nearly as big as a blanket as well. Dwalin pulled out a cloak for Cody as well, but it didn't seem to engulf him the same as Fili's did for me. He pouted a bit, but none of the dwarves around the fire seemed to take notice.

I watched as the dwarves found comfortable areas beside the fire and rolled out their sleeping bags, removing their cloaks, armor, and boots before slipping into them. Balin handed Cody his bright red cloak as well, and Cody wrapped it around his shoulders. Within minutes of just staring into the warm fire and scooting a little closer to the flames, a loud snore from Dwalin made me jump.

"Oh god, no," I groaned quietly and Cody snickered. _I hate snoring!_ God, there was no way I was going to get any sleep.

"Sweet dreams," Cody whispered, a shit-eating-grin on his face as he lay down between Balin and Dwalin and adjusted the two cloaks over him.

I did the same, my stomach jumping again at the sudden and loud snore. I moved the cloak to wrap completely around me. It clearly wasn't meant to be a soft and comfy blanket, but it was far better than nothing at all. I wrapped it tightly around my shoulders and flipped the hood up and over my head, hoping that the fabric would maybe filter out some of that horrible noise Dwalin was making.

It didn't, by the way.


	3. Chapter 3 edit: 01-14-14

**Coming Home**

_~insanity and co~_

_Author's Note: Yay! So many people following and favoriting this story. :) I love getting those little emails alerting me to everyone who's taking an interest in this. This is a particularly long one (so close to 5,000 words!), so be prepared for that! And perhaps send me a review as reward? :) Just a thought. Onward, ho!_

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_01/14/2014 EDIT: Thanks to some CC from Liliesshadow, I've made a few small adjustments to this chapter. It won't effect the main plot in any way, but it was just something pointed out and now it must be fixed! If there are any other problems you come across please send me a message through review or PM.  
_

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I swear, this is the last time I woke up in Middle Earth thinking I was back home. It was depressing, really. My hopes brought up and smashed right back down. The blanket that I had wrapped around me and pulled over my head was warm, but the material was too scratchy to be one of my own blankets. I woke to the feeling of warm metal in my hand, and realized I was holding my pocket knife in my hand, blade drawn and held close to my chest.

Again, I woke to the sound of voices, deep and rumbling, and I could only barely make out the words.

"-soon. We have plenty of time, Kili, do not fret. We will travel today to Bree and stay there a night with Bifur, Bofur and Bombur - they should be there by now, anyway." That was Balin's voice, and I felt a little proud at being able to decipher who was who, by now.

"We shouldn't leave much later than this, Balin." That sounded like Kili, impatient and restless, and much closer to me than Balin was. "We should wake her so she can get ready to leave."

"Oh, I'll do it." That was Cody, and that was all the warning I got before something sharp collided with my shoulder. "Up you get, cranky-pants."

I yelped and threw the cloak off, scrambling to my feet and launching toward Cody who skipped - _yes, skipped_ - across the dead fire to stand slightly behind Dwalin. I had grabbed a handful of his shirt but it was ripped from my hands quite easily.

"You didn't have to _kick_ me," I groaned, folding up the cloak in my lap and stretching my arms. "Payback's a bitch." I muttered that last bit and sent Cody a glare. I was in no mood to be kicked around and talked about. Home was on my mind and I wanted to get back there. Now. No more sleeping in the forest and trying to not get murdered...or woken up via kicks.

"Well, we didn't intend to wake you in that way, Miss. But, since you are up now," Balin's apologetic look fell away quickly to an upbeat attitude as he turned to address Cody. "No use in wasting time. Come, come, gather your things."

I looked around my spot on the grass. I had my knife clutched in one hand and Fili's cloak in the other. I didn't really _have_ other things to gather. My jacket was on and for a moment I looked around for my shoes before remembering they were gone...replaced with massive feet. _Queue mental sob-fest._ Balin seemed to notice the lack of luggage as well.

"Oh, um, well, no worries then."

Fili and Kili were pulling their packs over their shoulders and I went to hand Fili his spare cloak back. He held a hand up before I could say a word.

"Keep it for now. It's a warm morning but just over that mountain, the weather has been known to take nasty turns." He turned and pointed to a rather large mountain. Thick clouds covered the sky and hid the very top in a mist that looked to be retreating slowly from the trees. A few beams of sunlight fought through the trees, warming the small valley they had camped in.

"We're actually going to go with them?" I whispered to Cody after I had sneaked around the fire to where he was standing just as awkwardly as I was, with nothing to gather up but Dwalin's extra cloak. Balin had taken his red one back and was now fastening it around his shoulders.

Dwalin hoisted his axe up and with a grunt, it rested against his shoulder. I eyed it, unnoticed by him, still uneasy about all the _weapons_. Kili was placing his bow over his shoulder and Fili already had his sword hanging from his silver belt. My neck suddenly felt a little too vulnerable when I remembered how large that sword was when it was pointed straight at me, and I pulled Fili's cloak over my shoulders.

"Where else are we going to go?" Okay, so I didn't have a great argument against _that_. Where the hell could we go? We didn't even know where we were, or what kinds of things other than dwarves were in this forest.

I groaned a little when I took a few steps and noticed the blue cloak dragged against the grass. Like, a _lot_. Cody just laughed and moved to where Dwalin and Balin were standing beside the fire, packs on and ready to set off.

Okay, so this was it. We were actually _following_ them to this place to something called a 'Bilfur' and 'Bombur'. My stomach did a bit of a flip. I really had no choice. The two oldest dwarves were walking into the forest and Kili and Fili were following behind. Cody turned back and with a jerk of his head, motioned for me to come with.

I groaned and jogged past him.

"I better not regret this."

* * *

Cody looked down at me - I was still getting used to him having to look _down_ at me - and winced. I had stubbed my toes yet again on one of the thousands of roots that seemed to just be jumping out at my feet. My legs were definitely shorter than before and I felt like I had to take a flying leap over the roots that the dwarves (and Cody) had to merely step over.

So. Not. Fair.

"Need a piggy-back ride?" Cody asked, aiming for a sweet voice but it was just not going over well with me today. Nothing seemed to be going over well with me today. I just felt rotten. I felt lost, and I wanted my shoes back. Or a _drink._

Cody's hands went up quickly into 'surrender' mode and he trudged on. This forest was thick with trees, and only a few clearings left enough space for sunlight to filter through. Those moments in the sun felt glorious. The cloak around my shoulders kept the misty air off my shoulders, but the damp cold had seeped in and made my toes numb, which was probably for the best, as I kept kicking them into roots. The sun warmed my face, if only for a second, before we had to push on farther up the mountain. After we left our small clearing where we had camped, I couldn't see the mountain ahead of us at all, and when the mist set in I realized that the thick clouds that I thought were burning _off_ the mountain were actually just setting in.

Again. _So. Not. Fair._

I huffed and tried to take deep breaths. One breath for every few steps seemed to work the best, but it felt like a labor just to gasp.

Okay, so here's where I should tell you a little secret.

Nothing big. Nothing I couldn't handle. I just...can't run. Like _can't_ can't. My dad can - he runs miles every morning - but whenever I try and join him it turns into a walk within a mile or two, and that would be on a good day with pristine conditions.

This was more than a mile. This was more than two. What was worse, the dwarves in front of me weren't even _running_, they were just jogging at what looked like an easy pace from back here. Me, with my short legs and large feet, had a hell of a time keeping up.

Sweat was dripping down my face and my lungs didn't seem to be listening. I wasn't asking much, just to _fucking breath_. Yeah, they weren't listening. Damn rebels.

For the tenth time that day, Balin slowed his pace, falling behind the other dwarves and earning himself a disapproving look from Dwalin for his efforts. I found it far too easy to be short with Cody, he was _Cody_, that was reason enough. But Balin looked like he could be a sweet, old grandpa. He had never been mean or rude to me. I couldn't bring myself to be so short with him, so I took a deep breath when I saw he was slowing down to come back and talk with me again.

"How are you doing, Lass?" His voice was kind, but I could tell he was silently asking me to speed up. _Stop it, brain. Be nice. Be nice to the old man._

"Me? I'm fine. Oh, yeah, fine." He wasn't buying it, clearly.

"We're near the top now. We can take a break for lunch - the others are getting hungry too - and then we can continue on down. Then, it won't be far to Bree." I knew he added that last bit for my sake. I would not be the _one_ person to slow the entire group down. Lunch would provide a wonderful moment to stretch my legs and recover without my entire body burning up with embarrassment.

I nodded to Balin and looked up, wishing I could tell exactly how far we were from the top of the mountain. It felt like we had been running _forever_, how were we not on the other side by now?

This was when I found out that I cannot multitask when it comes to running.

Looking up and running through a forest filled with vengeful, foot-grabbing roots did not mingle well. Knees hit the large root hard and I did quite a spectacular flip over the root, smack onto my back with a _oof_! Air left my lungs and I laid on the mossy ground for a few seconds, dazed and wondering where the _hell_ that train just came from.

Before I could even open my eyes or yelp at the throbbing pain in my knees, someone was grabbing my shoulders and picking me up off the ground.

"Keep an eye on the ground, Miss," Balin said with a kind smile, setting me back on my feet. I reached down to grab my knife, which had fallen out of my tight grasp, and stuffed it in my pocket before turning to face Balin. Had it been Cody to say those words he would have gotten an earful.

"Thanks," I muttered, still breathless from running and getting the wind knocked straight from my lungs. I looked forward to see the end of Cody's dark green hood disappear around a bend in this invisible path we were following. They weren't even going to stop!

"Here we go," Balin muttered, nudging me forward and back into what felt like a full-on run. My knees felt weak and bruised but I pushed on, determined to not be the sole reason that the entire group has to stop.

_Breath. In. Out. Yes, good lungs. Just like that. No...don't hurt. Stop hurting!_

Balin had been right in thinking that we were close to the top, but I could never figure out how he knew that.

I came racing into the clearing with Balin at my side and came sliding to an ungraceful stop. I could feel dirt wedging itself between my toes and I grimaced. Fili, Kili, Cody and Dwalin were standing in a tiny clearing, on _flat_ ground.

Now was not the time to throw myself on the ground and thank whatever _Lords_ graced these lands that we didn't have to keep running up! I don't really remember my legs burning this much, and it felt absolutely wonderful to sit down on the wet and mossy ground and pulled Fili's cloak tight around my shoulders. It felt wonderful...until my hips started to cramp. _Bad_.

I had to stand up again and stretch, and I looked over to see that Cody was doing something similar, stretching out his legs in front of him and reaching for his toes.

"So, we're at the top?" I had to fight my words down until they didn't sound so damn hopeful.

"Yes, we are," Kili answered, turning and grinning at me. "We can have a small break and some bread-" _Oh, goody._ "-but now, we need to go back down and across a small river before we reach Bree. We should be there before nightfall, even at this pace." Okay, that was a little uncalled for. His smile widened at my glare and he turned to his brother.

I thought my thighs hurt running uphill? My calves absolutely _burned_ going downhill at the same pace. I tried to stick my heels into the mossy ground to control my pace, leaping and jumping over roots until I felt like I just wanted to flop over and _cry_. This time, Balin didn't come back to join me on the race downhill. He stayed in the front, guiding the group through many small clearings and between trees. The dwarves just seemed to know this area by heart, and I followed along like a lost puppy, just hoping that _soon_ we'll make it to the bottom so we can take another break.

Oh, we reached the bottom. Ten more roots reached up to stub my toes and I only tripped once on the way down the mountain. I was beginning to get discouraged when the fog didn't seem to lift. The fog actually followed us until we reached the very bottom of the mountain - _yes, we did reach it alive and all toes and kneecaps intact._ But we didn't get a break.

I paused for a moment, huffing and puffing and confused.

We were at the bottom. The trees around us were farther apart and I could see that the land before us was quite flat. But the back of the cloaks ahead of me continued to swish behind the dwarves as they ran.

We weren't getting another break.

I guess I wasn't promised one, but I still felt a little cheated.

_Deep breaths, Holly. Come on, you can _do_ this!_

* * *

By the time we reached the river, my feet were disgusting. I didn't even want to look down at them, but my damn fascination in them keep drawing my gaze. How was it that my _feet_ changed. And why? Why did I have to have such big and _hairy_ feet?

"Here we go, now," Balin grinned, breath only a tiny bit labored as he pulled me over to the river's edge by the elbow.

I couldn't stop the groan - this was a _massive_ river. In my mind, I had pictured a stream we could jump over. This was no stream. The water ran fast over a shallow rock bed, white foam splashing into the air, but it was difficult to see how deep the water was.

"Would you like one of us to carry you over?" He had meant it kindly, I could tell, so I didn't bite his head off. I did, however, bristle a bit when Cody sniggered. The bugger could barely swim himself, who the hell was _he_ laughing at?

"I'll be fine," I grumbled. "But the cloak will get wet," I added, taking it off my shoulders and realizing just how _cold_ it was without the thick fabric around me. I was _not_ going to be the last one across the mountain only to be seen _shivering_ and being carried over the river. Oh hell no! I set the cloak aside with quite a bit of difficulty, kneeling down to roll my jeans up and over my knees.

Cody was doing the same, and I snickered when he had a bit of difficulty.

"You know, if you wore clothes that _fit_ this wouldn't be a problem for you." I felt quite good in that moment, now that I had caught my breath and I was back to laughing at Cody standing tall over him as he knelt down. It didn't last, of course. With a swipe of his large hand, he grabbed my ankle and flicked my leg up. I went crashing onto the ground with quite a bit of screeching and I immediately dove for that _idiot!_

"You jackass, what the hell was that for?"

"Don't make fun of my clothes!"

"Then don't wear funny clothes!"

Balin had stopped any fight that would have arose and Cody had to settle for rolling his jeans to just below his knees, shooting me a rude look behind Balin's back. I stuck my tongue out at him but was sobering up when Balin motioned to the river - it was time to go.

Dwalin was the first to cross the river, water splashing up to his thighs as he moved quickly against the harsh current without so much as a moment of hesitation. I gulped. If it was hitting his _thighs_ it would no doubt completely wash me away.

Kili and Cody crossed next, Balin not far behind them.

I couldn't really stall much longer. I looked over to Fili, who was watching me. Oh great, he was waiting for me to cross first. _Okay, Holly, don't make a fool of yourself. You can do this!  
_

We both waded into the water and - _god dammit -_ it was so cold! All thoughts of _not_ shivering completely left my mind and my new challenge was to not fall. I was only up to my ankles and I could feel the current trying to push my feet off the rocks.

Cody was kind to not laugh - or too cold to notice - either one, it really didn't matter. The rest of the group was waiting on the other side of the river for us.

My face burned red when my feet slipped and I barely caught the folded cloak before I dropped it. Now the water was up to my calves, I couldn't stop the shivering even if I had to, and we weren't even halfway across the river. I dug my fingers into the warm fabric and stepped forward.

"This really would be faster if you let me carry you," Fili said, his voice almost drowned out by the rushing water. "I won't tease you, I promise," he added. If I were in his place, I would have been horribly impatient. I couldn't even find the breath to thank him for waiting, with every step the water got colder and all thoughts were back on _breathing_.

"I'm fine," I grumbled, trying to take quicker steps.

Bad idea.

Something caught my upper arm before I had even noticed I was going to fall. Fili's tight grip on my arm hauled me back up and to my feet again, where the water was at my knees and pushing up to my thighs, threatening to drag me down with every moment. My jeans were soaking wet with icy water and I couldn't help but take a moment to mourn my dry clothes.

_So. Cold. So. Cold. Why is anything this cold? How is this river still liquid? It should be _ice.

Without warning, water swooshed past my feet and Fili had picked me up. My legs hung awkwardly over his arm and I had to scramble to get a grip on his shoulders so I wouldn't fall right back into the water. He made it quickly across the river. Had I not been so cold, I would have fought and screeched and kicked and punched until he put me down. I _do not_ like to be picked up or carried. At all.

But my feet were cold and sore and my knees were still throbbing and I was _hungry_.

So I let him carry me.

"Don't," I warned, pointing a finger to Cody when he looked up to see Fili setting me down on their side of the river. He stopped with his mouth hanging open and turned to Balin who had grabbed his shoulder.

"Now isn't the best time," he said, and if I weren't struggling to get the cloak back on and dry my legs and feet I would have ran over and _hugged_ him. Cody was silenced with his words and we all turned away from the river, continuing through the forest.

The last little stretch really wasn't as large as I was expecting, and we could _walk_. I don't know who made the decision that we didn't have to run, but I was forever in debt to them. My stomach grumbled though - lunch had consisted of (surprise) bread - and my throat was burning for something to drink. Every gulp I took only seemed to make it worse, but I just couldn't stop.

Cold. Hungry. Cold. Thirsty. _Cold. _If _this_ is what traveling felt like, then I wanted no part in it. No thank you. A warm fireplace and a large plate of food every night would be suffice. Maybe a cup of hot tea. Oh man, why is it still so cold?

While we were walking, I was able to keep pace with the dwarves easily enough, taking short and quick steps and keeping an eye out for the thankfully smaller roots. Before too long (and before I fell over out of hunger) I noticed small lanterns hung along a line of trees. And good timing, too, the sun that was hiding behind the clouds was beginning to go away, and the cold gray sky was slowly growing darker and darker.

The lanterns lit our path well enough, and the moss slowly retreated to the trees, leaving us with a dirt path straight to Bree.

The town was not what I was expecting. I was thinking of _houses_ and _stores_ and a _phone_ so we could call home and have someone pick us up. (I was a little bit aware that the last one was a bit of a stretch.) This looked like some picture from our history book. The street wasn't much of a street; the wet air had turned the dirt path to mud and I winced when it seeped between my toes. _Oh god, where were my shoes?_

There were small signs that hung above narrow buildings, but I couldn't figure out what the shops were selling. They all looked closed, anyway. Only a few windows were filled with light that spilled into the damp road. There was no grocery store. No market. Nowhere to get any _food,_ so where were we going?

We marched forward in pairs and I stood close to Cody, following behind Fili and Kili who seemed to know their way around town.

"Here we are," one of them cried out in relief - apparently they were equally as hungry and ready for a rest as we were. We turned to a building with a large sign that simply said _'Inn_'. I was ready to ask about us getting some food but Dwalin and Balin pushed past us and threw the door open and I could _smell_ it.

_Food!_

We followed mindlessly, the door slamming beside us and suddenly we were in a large room with groups of people sitting around tables. A bar was not far off, and I could hear people singing a song I had never heard in slurred, cheery voices. We followed the dwarves through the crowd, pushing past a particularly tall fellow carrying a large tray.

_What sort of creature is that, I wonder?_

"Hello, Bombur," I heard Balin greet someone, but his body blocked my sight and I waited as they made some small talk of our journeys here. Another impossibly large man pushed past us and turned to apologize, taking a second glance and having to look _way_ down at me. I was too tired to make any sort of comment, at the moment, and the man continued through the crowd.

Bombur had an exceptionally deep voice, but he also sounded as if he was on the verge of laughing with every word - I wouldn't have been much more surprised if it turned out he was Santa Clause.

"Bifur and Bofur are getting us some food and drinks," the particularly large man with what looked like a braided necklace paused when he noticed Cody and I following the four dwarves to the seats around the table. "We'll have him grab some more. Can't have anyone go hungry here, can we?" Bombur patted the chair beside him and gave me a wink, wide grin cheerful and kind. Ah, Bombur was _my_ kind of guy! Food on the mind.

The moment the word 'food' hit my ears I was seated snugly between Bombur - whose chair creaked as he turned to look me over - and Balin. Kili, Fili, and Cody sat across from us and I was struck again by how different they all looked. Kili and Fili looked as if they belonged to the Roman Empire, and Cody looked like he had just stepped out of a gay night club with his forehead still shiny and sweaty. I smiled at this but kept my comments to myself. So far, my outbursts had only earned me odd looks and quirked heads.

A rough voice called out something in a foreign language and set in front of Bombur was a large plate of food and an overflowing mug of bitter alcohol.

"A she-hobbit and a fellow dwarf," Balin said, turning to address a wild-looking man with a yellow hood pulled over his scraggly, gray-streaked hair. A thick beard almost covered his entire face, but I could still make out a wide, friendly grin. "Holly and Cody, this is Bifur."

He made a short comment that I still couldn't understand - it almost sounded like Russian - still smiling as he left the table. I pulled Fili's cloak tighter around my shoulders, realizing that our clothes would be the first things that set us apart from the others in the group.

"Ah, we do have more guests!" The booming voice was greeted by everyone at the table when Bofur kicked a chair out of the way with plates balancing on his arms, a funny looking hat with long ears extending out and over his shoulders, and a grin even wider and goofier than Bifur. "I'll just grab us another few plates then," he turned and yelled something I couldn't understand just as my stomach let out a loud growl. "Bifur will get them." He waved a hand in the air and took a seat at the table, sliding two plates over to Kili and Fili and a third over to Balin.

"Had a long trip, Lass?" Bombur asked, and I grinned and nodded - he had heard my stomach clear as day.

The food slid past me and I wanted to turn and help Bifur was get our food. Fast. I was absolutely starving, and bread had not cut it. Meat, potatoes, carrots and other foods were heaped into a large pile on wooden plates, and soon after I smelled the food the bitter smell of ale filled the air. Forget the saying, _Home is where the heart is._ I grabbed the fork as soon as a plate was slid across the table in my direction. _Home is where the _food_ is._

I looked up to see Cody eating with equal gusto and a hand appeared by my side, holding an absolutely massive mug of ale.

"Would you like a drink, Miss?" I nodded and accepted the mug from whoever held it out to me, mouth filled with food so I had to awkwardly cover my mouth while I thanked them. I thought it was Dwalin, but it could have been Balin. I was beginning to sense a theme in their rhyming names, but this food was so good I couldn't bear to stop and ask anyone.

_Forget Home is where the food is. _I grinned at Cody over my mug, noticing that he was already halfway through his plate of food and working through his own cup of ale. _Home is where the alcohol is._

I swear, it was only one mug of ale. So why was the room swaying with the make-shift beats of music? The dwarves around me were singing a song of traveling, but I couldn't focus on their words long enough to understand them. It was cheery and bright, and their fists hit the table to create a rhythm and I noticed Cody had caught onto their beats and was pounding his own large hands on the table as well.

I just sat back in my chair, feeling warm and full and tired. Thoughts of home swept in for only a moment. My own bed. My own apartment. My job. It all went flying in one side and out the other as the bodies of Bombur and Balin swaying bumped my shoulders, forcing me to sway along to their cheerful songs.

This wasn't so bad. Of course, this was only the beginning of my journey.


	4. Chapter 4

**Coming Home**

_~insanity and co~_

_Author's Notes: Wow, lots of views so far. :) So exciting! I hope everyone had a good Christmas, or Holiday, or whatever it is you celebrate. To appease everyone, Happy End-Of-December. :)_

* * *

I think this was my first _ah-ha _moment, when I opened up my eyes and saw the wooden panels on the wall of the Inn. I could hear some Dwarves shuffling around me and their voices as they tried - and failed - to speak quietly as to not wake the few that were still sleeping. I didn't wake with a start, feeling sick or relieved that I was home. I was a little relieved that I wasn't relieved, actually. Getting that sort of let down every morning seemed to be taking a toll on my temper. Waking up and just..._knowing_ that I was not home felt better than all the other wake-ups I had had so far.

I just...woke up. With seven dwarves. And one that was apparently dead.

I screamed, leaping up from my spot on the floor and tripping over the cloak still tied around my shoulders as I stepped back. It pulled me back to the floor where I stumbled over someone's pack. One Dwarf, Bifur, lay on the ground mere inches from where I had been sleeping. He looked peaceful except for the _axe sticking in his forehead_.

My scream was cut short by a large hand wrapping around my face to cover my mouth, and another one grasped my shoulders and lifted me off the ground. The room shifted around as I was dragged from the room, hand pressed too hard over my mouth and nose. I could just barely get a breath in. Whoever had me had a damn good grip and I couldn't tear myself away, but I was still kicking and screaming because _oh my god_ I did not want to die this way. An axe to the head, eyes open and rolled back a bit with drool falling into a puddle by my face.

The sight of Bifur laying dead on the ground was torn away as a door slammed shut but I could not get that image out of my mind.

"Will you _be quiet_?"

My entire body was shaking in that moment, so the irritation in the man's low voice was falling on deaf ears and I continued to struggle and fight to get away from the axe-murderer. There was a small voice in the back of my head _screaming _that I had been right, but with the murderer having quite the hold on me I didn't feel as victorious as I expected.

The moment his arms began to loosen I tore away, scrambling and nearly falling in my haste. I wildly thought of where Cody was, and where my knife was because even if I didn't use it well the last time I met the dwarves, I would be damned if I died without putting up one hell of a fight. I ended up spinning - _if I was going to die I was going to see who my murderer was, no 'who-done-it's' for Holly _- and bracing my back against a wall by accident. I was ready to dodge around the person, to push back harshly and startle them to give myself just another second to _think_.

I opened my mouth to gasp and Fili moved to cover my mouth again, moving too quickly for me to dodge.

So that's how Cody found me this morning as he waltzed up the stairs with an apple in hand. Screaming bloody murder, having my mouth covered and held against a wall so I wouldn't wake the entire Inn. Yeah, so he looked a little confused.

"He's fine, he's fine," Fili repeated, but I couldn't bring myself to believe him. He could say that all he wanted, an _axe_ in the head was hardly fine 'and dandy', in my book. I just glared at him - the _little liar_ - and continued to push against him and throw him off. His arms wouldn't budge no matter how hard I was pushing and scratching, his legs seemed immovable, but I still tried to kick out at him.

"Bifur freak her out?" Cody asked, stepping beside Fili. What the hell was he _thinking_ and why wasn't he _running?_ "I kind of freaked out too," he said casually. "He's fine, Holly. Just sleeping is all."

At this, I stopped kicking at Fili's legs, but my hands were frozen on his arms, still trying to push him away because his large hand covered both my mouth and my nose, and I was having a _really_ hard time breathing. My nails were merely sliding off his shirt and the anger and fear that had fueled my urge to turn and fight was replaced with a new sort of fear because I _still_ couldn't breath.

In an instant, Fili seemed to notice this too. He stepped back sharply and I leaned back against the wall, hand coming up to my face and taking in long, deep breaths of wonderful air. _Glorious_ air.

"I'm sorry, that was too much," he said, and Cody just stood next to me, hand on his hip. "Bifur isn't dead. Years ago he was struck in the head by an axe. He's under the impression that it can't be removed or his brain will be damaged." Fili didn't look as if he believed this, himself.

Now that I was breathing again and could stand on my own two feet, I looked up to the two in front of me. Cody was eating his apple again, and _god_ he was so tall now, a little bit taller than Fili, now that I could compare them easily.

"Oh, well, uh- Sorry." That was lame, but I suppose I had given them quite a scare with my screaming and fighting. So Bifur wasn't dead, he was _supposed_ to have an axe in his head, and I had just woken up several dwarves over _nothing_. _Fantastic._

"Everything alright?" That was Balin, sticking his head out into the hallway and glancing at the three of us. I had expected everyone to be irritated, but he didn't.

"Fine. She just had a scare," Fili said, nodding to Balin who retreated back into the large room shared by all the dwarves. Now that we were all alone in the hallway, the light-haired Dwarf turned back to us. "My uncle will not take kindly to these kind of scares. If you wish to continue your travels with us to the Shire, as Balin suggests, you should learn to control...this." Fili's eyebrows were drawn together as if he couldn't quite put his finger on what _this_ was. At _that_, he scanned both myself and Cody. "You should also keep your cloaks on and tight until we reach our next stop."

Cody looked miffed but I just smiled and nodded, thankful that he was so quick to forgive that spazz-attack. I pulled his cloak around my shoulders tighter and he went back into the room, closing the door behind him and leaving me alone with Cody.

"I don't want to go with them," I muttered and Cody took a large bite from the apple, chewing with his mouth open and _gross_, I could see it all from down here.

Cody swallowed and looked down at me, surprised. "So what do you suggest we do, then?"

"I don't know, but I don't trust them-"

"Where's your sense of adventure?" Cody interrupted, grinning and opening his arms wide, invitingly. There wasn't much of a wonderful 'oooohhh' moment, as we were only standing in the hallway of some old Inn, and his hands quickly fell to his sides in a sigh.

I quirked an eyebrow. "I don't want to _die_ here, Cody. _Adventure_ isn't waltzing into the woods with unknown men with _weapons_. We call _that_ suicide."

"You have a knife." His response was fast and he smirked, crossing his arms.

"That's different, that's not a weapon. He has a _sword_. Like, a _fucking sword!"_ I motioned wildly to the door that Fili had just shut.

"Well, to be honest, it sounds like you snuck up on them."

"_I _snuck up on _them_?" I had almost yelled back at him but remembered to keep my voice down. Cody stood with his shoulder pressed against the wall, inspecting a scab on his finger. "They jumped at me when I was in the bushes _hiding_ from them because I saw what they were carrying."

"That's not the way Kili tells it," he sing-songed, picking the scab and flicking it at me. It fell short but I still sort of jumped because _eww_, that was absolutely disgusting.

"Oh, fine, believe _him_, then." I sighed, throwing a hand in the direction of the room and giving Cody my best _'I really don't care, I don't'_, looks. Which was promptly ignored.

"Well, I'm going with. Balin said he'll take us to the Shire so we can meet someone named Gandalf - they have Wizards here, too - and then we'll see what we can do." He looked far too excited about the concept of Wizards being real. "You can come with, if you like." He shrugged and turned on his heels, walking with a happy skip in his step back to the room of the dwarves.

I stood alone in the hallway, unsure where to go now. I couldn't just stay here.

Groaning, I kicked the wall and sent a curse Cody's way, right as he shut the door behind him. He left it a tiny bit open, though, and I wanted to give _him_ a good kick in the ass. He knew I would follow him. And I did.

* * *

Everyone had their packs on their shoulders by the time the sun was finally up and over the mountains. This time, it did look like the sun was going to burn off the fog, but until that happened I had to tighten the cloak around my arms and pull my hood up and over my hair, secured in the ever-present ponytail. The group of (now) seven dwarves and me and Cody left the Inn, piling into the empty streets. My feet were still dirty from the day before, but I couldn't stop myself from cringing. I just _hated_ that feeling of mud seeping between my toes and making disgusting _squelching_ noises.

"We should be there before dinner if we keep up a nice quick walk," Balin called out from the front of the group. There was a grumble of replies and everyone seemed to find themselves in a single line as the path out of Bree became narrow. I walked behind Kili and Cody was behind me, making up the back of the group.

One thing I had yet to look closely at were the braids. Each Dwarf seemed to have a different style, all beautiful (yes, even the ones in their beards), and I watched Kili's braid-less hair sway in front of me. He was the only one without them. His hair was so dark and curly I hadn't noticed that he didn't have them before now.

"Why don't you have braids?" I asked, jogging forward until I was walking beside Kili on the narrow path. He glanced down at me with an odd expression and slowly touched a hand to his hair. It hadn't even occurred to me that he would be self-conscious...that _not_ having intricate braids was the odd thing amongst dwarves. I felt a little bad and began to apologize before he cut me off.

"Most dwarves earn their braids. They're like a token of the experience they have after a battle. It's not always how it happens, but normally the battle-wise and older dwarves have more." He nodded forward to Fili, walking a few feet ahead of us. "Fili's been in a few fights before. I don't know if I'd call them _battles..._"

At this, Fili tossed a look at us over his shoulder and I immediately moved to hide behind the darker Dwarf beside me. It was the _you're-talking-about-me-stop-it_ look that had Kili breaking out into a grin.

"Is he that much older than you? I guess I just assumed you were around the same age."

"He's eleven years older than me, I'm only sixty-seven."

Okay, if _that_ didn't have me stopping in my tracks right then and there, I don't know what would have. I couldn't stop the grin that came, even though I tried.

"Nice one," I chuckled and moved on, having to take a quicker step to match his own.

"You don't believe me?" he asked in a laugh.

"That your sixty-seven?" I let out a short breath, almost a chuckle, as he nodded. "Why should I? That's ridiculous."

"Right, how old are you, then?" Kili's shoulders straightened and he looked down his nose at me. I pushed my own shoulders back, trying to appear a tinsy bit taller, though it was doing me no good.

"Twenty-five. Cody's only twenty-four." He must have heard me throw him under the bus as Kili's mouth dropped open, a smile ghosting over his features. Cody let out one of his little indignant snort-huff-things. I expected something like his shoe to come flying at my head, but nothing happened.

Kili just laughed and we fell back into our previous line, me following behind him and Cody behind me.

Every once in a while the winding path would take a sudden drop and I watched the dwarves before me weave around the bushes and trees. The path beneath us had remained the same, but at the edge of the cleared pathway the flowers began to bloom. It all looked so surreal - this sort of beautiful green, _fresh_ landscape just didn't exist in my world outside of pictures. This was far better than any sort of picture could have been, though. The sun - when we were under it - warmed my shoulders and my face as it moved across the sky, and I finally dropped my hood so it could warm the top of my head as well.

The smells completely made up for the fact that _I _probably smelled (though flowers weren't what came to mind).

The ground - _thank God!_ - slowly turned from mud to dry dirt, and from dirt to luscious grass. Deep green and soft and let me tell you... so much more pleasant under my feet than mud. The landscape changed around us as they moved closer to the Shire. The woods became more calm and pleasant, filled with larger spaces and leafy trees and sunlight dotted onto our path. I continued to look around us, though I could see the dwarves ahead of me were far less interested in the scenery.

Balin did stop and stare for a moment as we passed one spot, where the trees before us simply disappeared and we could see the gorgeous, rolling hills with wild flowers growing in patches and filling the air with wonderful smells. It wasn't until we passed a large valley filled with blue and red and purple and pink flowers that I noticed how well I could _smell_ them. It wasn't a whiff, the scents seemed to fill the air around me and I wondered if it was the flowers or me that had changed.

This last hill that we climbed over left one of the dwarves ahead of us gasping while the rest pushed past him and marched on, and with a smile I hurried to the top to see what this new view would bring. Bofur had not been wrong to stop and stare. The hills before us were littered with small doors of different colors, all appearing to just disappear into the grass around them. A few , crooked fences poked up here and there and some of the paths looked to be made of stone, and my immediate thought was that it looked so _A__mish_. So calm and quiet and undisturbed, it felt like I would ruin it the moment I stepped foot on their land.

Oh, to hell with that. I wanted to see the oddly round doors up close!

I hurried down the side of the hill behind Bofur, the sun was just beginning to set before us and my feet were staring to hurt more. I smiled when we passed a sign that read "The Shire", almost hidden in the taller grass. It was short and off to the side of the road, covered in a bit of dirt and written in an odd handwriting I had never seen before. But it looked perfectly fitting. We passed the sign and I looked ahead, catching a glimpse of a few of the dwarves ahead of me when we came up another small hill.

I took a quick look at the braids ahead of me, taking note of who had more than others. A few of the dwarves had magnificent braids - Bombur's wrapped around his entire neck like a scarf - and I looked closer at the back of Fili's head and the several braids that fell over his shoulders. The heads of the other dwarves moved in an out of my view; white, dark, and red hair all twirled and twisted in many different ways. It was fascinating, actually, to see such a different culture that they lived in so comfortably.

If _this_ was what an adventure would feel like, maybe I could get used to it.

"Now, we're looking for a door," Balin called out, "with a specific sign on it. You'll know it when you see it."

I let out a little breath, having just climbed up the first of what looked like many sets of stone steps built into the ground. _How very _specific_ of him._

We passed a few doors, one red, one green, one gray...but none had a sign on them. They all had a small knob in the middle, and most were hidden behind large gardens and benches and fences. I just couldn't stop looking at the rolling hills and trees and flowers around us that I didn't notice when everyone in front of me stopped short.

"Sorry," I muttered to Bofur but he didn't seem to notice much. I stepped to the side and peaked up and over the taller man's shoulder, seeing that we had stopped in front of a gate. Behind the gate, was a large green door, but there was no sign that I could see.

"Ahh, here we are," Balin called out and a few of the dwarves let out a sigh of relief.

Okay, so I was not the only one who was starving and had missed lunch! (No meal goes unnoticed by Holly Morgan!) A deep voice ahead of me said something about food and pushed past Balin. It was Dwalin who opened the gate and marched to the door, his knuckles making an impossibly loud noise against the wood.

There was a long silence where Bofur shifted in front of me and I couldn't see a thing, once more. I looked around at the other doors around us. How much room did they have under the small hills? They couldn't possibly have much room for large families. I thought of how we would all fit inside one of these...it just wasn't a pretty picture. I thought of dirty men who had been traveling for days (for all I knew, it had been _weeks_!) and the lack of bathing and their dirty feet and if I was smelling this bad after only a few days of traveling, I shuddered to think of what would be coming off of the dwarves if they began to take their coats and boots off.

Just then, the door opened with a creak.

"Dwalin." I could hear his gruff voice and someone sounded shocked.

"Balin." The older man had been much kinder, but whoever was behind the door still sounded appalled, stuttering a hello and turning to yell something to Dwalin who had pushed past him into the house.

"Bombur."

"Bifur."

"Fili,"

"And Kili."

"Bofur."

As the dwarves introduced themselves, they waltzed into the house and it wasn't until Bofur pushed his way into the hill that I saw how distraught the man before me looked. His head kept turning as he tried to keep track of where they were all wandering off to and I finally noticed the sign carved into the door, though how _any_ of them could take it to mean _anything_ went far over my head. Some muttered about food and others asked for the toilet, which seemed to baffle the man even more. He almost tripped in his haste to keep an eye on everyone and just as he turned to shut the door, he noticed that there were still two of us left outside.

"Uh, Holly Morgan," I introduced myself with a wave, trying to smile politely as I held my hand out but one of the dwarves had gotten a hold of some food and _oh my god_ I was hungry.

"Oh-yes, well, um... Bilbo." After a deep breath to collect his thoughts, the man before me - _only an inch taller, at the most!_ - shook my hand and stepped aside. I didn't wait to step inside and took a deep breath, reveling in the smell of well cooked food. "Baggins," he added quickly, his hand coming up to his forehead and grabbing his curly brown hair. I laughed a bit and stepped into his house.

"Cody," I heard from behind me and the door was shut.

This was it. I was in the Shire.

And in the Shire, I might find a way home.


	5. Chapter 5

**Coming Home**

_~insanity and co~_

_Author's Note: Thanks for all the kind reviews! :) Please make sure that you're signed in so I can write back, otherwise I feel bad. Anyway, this chapter is _over_ 5,000 words! I believe that is a first for me, so woohoo! After finishing and posting the last chapter, I told myself very sternly that I would slow down a bit. I only had four chapters completely fleshed out and a-ready to go, but man, I started this one just hoping to get some inspiration on where to go with it and it flew by. Hope everyone enjoys!  
_

* * *

I had been expecting food - most of the dwarves were muttering about it on our way to the Shire - but I wasn't expecting a _feast_. Like, a full-on buffet with piles of food and rolls of cheese and kegs of ale. I jumped back as Kili and Fili rolled a barrel past us, not wanting to get my toes crushed.

Cody had been by my side since we left Bree and immediately disappeared in everyone's eagerness for food. I heard him shout at another Dwarf and could swear I saw a glimpse of short dark hair before he was gone.

I looked around the front room and remained by the door as Bilbo left, racing down the hall where Dwalin had disappeared to when a loud crash rang out through the home under the hill. There was a quiet knock on the door and some voices outside, but when I turned back to call out to Bilbo and peaked around the hallway I had last seen him, I couldn't find him. I could hear someone - likely to be Bilbo - yelling something about not touching his things and what sounded like Dwalin grumbling, but nobody else seemed to have heard the knocking.

I turned to the door and stepped forward. Could I even do this? I stopped and stared at the door, listening to the voices on the other side. The knob in the center of the door did nothing when I twisted and pulled at it and I had to step back and look at the door closely before slapping myself.

The _normal_ knob was on the side, just like any other door.

I wondered how rude it was in this place to open someone elses door and greet the guests that would no doubt be looking for Bilbo.

I opened the door anyway. To hell with being polite, I was _hungry_ and wanted to get into that kitchen as soon as the smell of warm bread hit me.

The door was open a crack before something pushed hard on the other side and I stumbled back.

"Dori."

"Nori."

"Ori."

"Oin."

"Gloin."

I was surprised - _more dwarves!_ - when five large men pushed past me, the last one shutting the door behind them. They each took off their large coats and swords and knives and _Jesus Christ_ how many different weapons do these people need? A large and heavy sword was thrown at me and I just barely managed to catch it before they all stood in the open room, door shut behind them and looking around expectantly.

It was Dori who first seemed to notice that I was even there.

"Ah, I wasn't told that our burglar had a pretty wife," he said, bowing his head kindly and I automatically nodded back, sword and straps wobbling awkwardly in my arms as I did so.

"Ah-uh, what? Oh! No! No! I'm not his wife. It's-well, complicated."

At that, a few of the dwarves behind Dori chuckled and a few of them wandered off into the kitchen before I could gather a _better_ explanation. It wasn't "complicated"...it was _nonexistent_. There were several yells as everyone greeted everyone and suddenly Bilbo burst into the room, light hair a mess and eyes wildly trying to take in all the new arrivals.

"There's _more_ of you?" He sounded so distressed, I felt bad but the dwarves simply introduced themselves on their way past him.

I shifted the heavy sword in my arms as Bilbo ran off again. How did they manage to swing those things around?

_Warm bread. Butter. _Was that _jam?_

I dumped the sword on the ground with the others, cringing at the loud sound it made but no one seemed to take notice of me at all.

I always felt weird wandering around someone elses home, especially when I had never been there before, and _especially_ when I was hardly invited inside at all. There were several hallways with tall, arched ceilings that led away from the front door and everything seemed beautifully decorated and well-kept. It wasn't what I was expecting out of a hole in the ground, though everything did scream _Amish_ again. Most things were carved from wood and only a few looked to be made of metal at all. I reached out to the coat rack that was now covered in large fur and weathered coats, a little smelly from the dwarves. A large animal head was carved at the top. Was that a frog? What a weird animal to chose for a coat rack. Lion or wolf came to mind, but frog! I grinned at the silly looking little coat rack.

The dwarves left their cloaks in a pile on a box by the door, and I took my own cloak off and folded it, wincing a little when I noticed how dirty the bottom had gotten in just a few days. I would definitely have to wash it before I could give it back to Fili.

_Meat, potatoes_...

I went to the left, where the smells and noises and _smells_ were all coming from, to find Bilbo standing outside of his kitchen, arms loose by his side and mouth open as he watched the dwarves move around and take anything and everything from the shelves and cupboards.

I crept up beside him, not really meaning to scare him but I did anyway and smiled apologetically.

"Sorry," I muttered, but he didn't reply and instead just turned to watch in horror as his house was ransacked.

Hey! I noticed with a jolt that we were almost exactly the same height. After having to look _up_ at everyone around me it was a nice change to look _across_ to hall at Bilbo, even if his expression was one of horror and betrayal.

I really didn't know what to do to help. I was in no way a part of their little group, I had no idea what we were all doing here aside from speaking with Gandalf, and if they didn't listen to me with a knife in my hand then they probably wouldn't listen if I were to scold them on their manners.

Which, by the way, were fucking horrible. For a second, I lost my appetite when Oin, older and slower moving, devoured a leg of _something_ with as much enthusiasm as I would expect from someone who hadn't eaten in _weeks_.

"We can use this room over here," a slightly smaller Dwarf, Ori, peaked his head around the corner of the hallway.

"No! That is for guests! It can't fit more than six or seven Hobbits, I don't think many dwarves can fit in-"

"Don't worry, we'll make room." Dwalin pushed past Bilbo roughly with large plates of food in his hands.

Meat. Potatoes. Veggies. Bread.

My worry over Bilbo vanished embarrassingly fast because I was so tired of bread for breakfast, lunch, and snacks and now I wanted _food_. I did have the decency not to push the poor man over as I left him standing in the entrance to the kitchen, following the line of dwarves to a room that really did look too small for them all.

Several pieces of furniture were lining the wall, and Kili and Fili were hauling them into the hallway while Nori and Gloin brought a table in from wherever the hell they found it. Various chairs seemed to just appear and soon enough, the room was cleared out and several tables were mashed together, chairs lining the walls. It looked like there would barely be any elbow room, but that didn't seem to phase any of them and they all marched in.

_God,_ we hadn't even been here for a full ten minutes and already Bilbo's entire house was rearranged.

"Would you like some wine or ale, Miss?" Dori asked, appearing at my side with a kind smile. I was frozen for just a moment, staring at the intricate silver braids that framed his face.

"Oh, um, wine, I guess," I stammered, and with a nod he left to ask Bilbo the same question. I laughed a bit at that; offering a drink to the house owner. Hill owner? Whatever.

There was another knock on the door and Bilbo threw his hands up, leaving the dwarves to drag more of his furniture around.

I followed Bilbo to the front door and watched as Ori rolled a _second_ barrel of ale down the hallway. I wondered where Cody had snuck off to, and waited just behind Bilbo. How many dwarves there could possibly be? And how many we could fit under this hill before Bilbo snapped, because he was looking quite close to snapping by the time he threw the door open with a yell.

"Gandalf! I should have guess you were behind this!" I was quite interested by that name - he was the one Balin said could help us - and turned to see an absolutely _huge_ older man standing at the doorway and leaning heavily on an interestingly carved staff. He had large, tattered gray robes and though he looked tired, he smiled kindly.

"Bilbo, I see everyone has arrived safely," Gandalf said with a nod to the few dwarves that could be seen behind us, ignoring Bilbo's furious rantings about them all destroying his home. The impossibly tall man dipped his head low and had to leave his staff outside so he could fit inside the house.

I was _so_ not used to feeling so small, but this was just ridiculous. I doubted I came up to this man's waist! This just wasn't _normal._

"Calm down, Mr. Baggins. Everything with be put back and cleaned by the morning, don't you worry." At his calming words, Bilbo took a few deep breaths and I was quite surprised when no smoke came out.

"Here's your wine, Miss," Dori said, offering me a glass and turning to Gandalf, offering him a drink in a surprisingly polite voice. Well _someone_ here had manners. Bombur pushed past a few dwarves in the kitchen, bringing several wheels of cheese through the hall and disappearing around a corner to cheers of '_food!'_

"I don't believe we've met before," Gandalf said, turning to me. He looked kind had a gentle voice. If the others had behaved this way when we were found in the forest I probably wouldn't have had to use - _okay, _try_ to use - _my pocket knife. "What odd clothing you wear," he noted in a grumble and I suddenly felt exposed. I had taken my cloak off without even thinking of Fili's warning! "No use troubling yourself, Miss. I look forward to talking to you but first..." He thanked Dori and took a glass of wine into his hand as well, only needing to use his thumb and forefinger. He sighed and tipped it back and forth, examining the wine before drinking it in one swallow, and I sipped at mine as he worked his way slowly into the kitchen, having to bow his head and shoulders down to get through the arched doorway. I watched him curiously for a moment while he shifted through the mess to find a few things to nibble on. He seemed to get bored of this quickly, or decided that the others had taken whatever it was that he wanted.

"Where did all those dwarves run off to?"

"Down there." I pointed him in the direction of all the noise - they were singing now - and with a groan, Gandalf dipped his head low to avoid hitting his head on a beam high above my own head.

* * *

I found a comfortable spot in the kitchen, sitting on the counter beside the sink and picking at a few pieces of food that had been left behind. There really wasn't much, though, and I slipped off the counter once I realized that picking at little bits of this and that weren't going to help me at all. My stomach gave a loud growl, it agreed!

The soft footsteps were difficult to hear over the voices coming from down the hall, but I was aware of him just as Bilbo came wandering in from the noise and mess. He was shaking his head and muttering to himself, fed up with the dwarves, and he had his eyes locked on the ground in front of him. It looked like he was scared to glance up and see the damage done in the dwarves' haste for food and drinks. I took a few plates and stacked them in the sink, trying to ease a bit of his stress by cleaning. The slight noise of porcelain scraping on his counter tops made him jump and I smiled, a little embarrassed.

I motioned over to where the dwarves had left a lot of the food, spilling over plates and sitting in piles on the table in the center of the kitchen. I had been both eager and fascinated in how they all managed to prepare everything in the blink of an eye, and I had been too shocked to join in and grab my own plate of food. Now, my stomach was making it clear that food just sitting around on the counters shouldn't be wasted.

"Can I have a bite to eat?"

Bilbo looked a little taken aback, but I couldn't figure out why. I thought being polite would be a _good_ thing, especially after the rampage he had just survived.

"Oh-uh, of course," Bilbo stammered, blinking. I grinned and grabbed a clean plate to fill with food, taking a sip of wine from a glass that Dori had given me. I leaned against the edge of the counter, feeling more comfortable here than at the Inn the night before.

"Thank you. This is a lovely home. How long does it take to make something like this under a hill?"

"I'm not sure, my parent's built it years ago." Bilbo's brow was pulled together and he rocked back and forth on his large feet (just as hairy as mine - which still didn't make me feel any better about the light hair keeping my feet warm). "Do you not live somewhere around here?"

"No, my home is far away." I was at a bit of a loss. Was I suppose to explain to everyone I met that I don't know where home is from here? "We don't have houses underground like you guys do here, I find it interesting."

"How did you, you know, come to travel with such...interesting dwarves?" Bilbo asks, slow to chose his words carefully as to not offend.

"Um, that's actually a very long story. Maybe I can tell you later," I said, smiling as I dodged the question and drank some of the fruity drink in my hand. I wondered if I would ever get to tell him the full story of how I came to be standing in this weird land. Would I get to tell anybody? Or could I get home before I had to?

"So you all intend to stay for a while?" The question was followed by quite a haunted look. "I-uh, I didn't mean it quite like that."

I waved off the apologetic look. "No worries, man. I have no idea what those guys are up to, or when they're leaving."

"T-they? You don't intend to go with them?"

"Actually," a deep voice called from the hallway before I could answer and Gandalf dipped his head down to step into the messy kitchen. The tip of his hat hit the door frame and Bilbo's expression put me on edge. He didn't look all that happy to see the massive Wizard. "That is precisely what I would like to talk to Miss Holly about. Bilbo, would you mind getting me another glass?" Gandalf handed him the empty wineglass in his hand.

With a polite 'of course', Bilbo grabbed the glass from Gandalf and nodded to me as he left. I could only manage a nod back with a mouthful of cheese. _Smooth._

"Balin has given me a little knowledge of how you and your friend came into their care, however, he doesn't seem to know much about _how _you came to be in the mountains near Bree."

"Is it bad if I have no idea how we got there?" Gandalf made a little noise and gave me a look from under his thick, gray eyebrows. He didn't believe me! "No, I really don't. I was dri- having fun with Cody, and I must have fallen asleep or something." Gandalf grinned with a knowing look cast down at me. He muttered a quiet 'Yes, fell asleep, indeed' and I knew we were caught. "Okay, so we drank. Like, a lot. And I have no idea what happened. This is...nowhere near home. I don't know how any of this stuff is possible, Gandalf." Some of my panic was starting to show, even though I had been able to hide it for so long. I was in a _Hobbit Hole_, with _Hobbits_ and d_warves_. I thought that saying that wouldn't have the massive impact on Gandalf that it did for me. "My _feet_ are _huge_ and Cody is a Dwarf and apparently I'm a Hobbit but at home there aren't _any _of these things-"

Gandalf raised a hand to quiet me and my rambling words died on my lips. The wine that had first settled my nerves suddenly tasted sour in my mouth, and the cheese not as tempting as before.

"I believe it would be wise if you do not indulge too much information on your own home until we have more information, ourselves. Even to me."

"Oh, um, right." Just then, Bilbo came back into a kitchen, two glasses of wine in his hand. He handed one to Gandalf and in a swift movement, threw the second one back, though it took him several more gulps than it took the Wizard. He made a bit of a face and smacked his lips, though he looked a little more relaxed than earlier.

"Thank you very much," Gandalf said, and then there were three of us... standing alone in the kitchen with the sounds of noisy dwarves coming in from down the hallway. "Bilbo, a moment?"

"Right, sure, okay," Bilbo was muttering to himself as he left the kitchen and I couldn't help but feel a little bad - forced out of the dining room from the noise and mess and now he couldn't take refuge in his own kitchen. Gandalf didn't seem too worried, though, and turned back to me quickly.

"Well, I just...I just don't know where we are. Nobody here seems to know where our home is, so how are we supposed to get back? I just want to go home."

That was the first time I felt truly _defeated_. Not just lost, but at a loss for what to do. If I were home and at a point like this, I would simply call my mother for advice. It wouldn't always work out as the plan suggested, but it would give me a better sense of confidence and I would be able to face all the problems in my way with someone behind my every step. It should feel like Cody was behind me, but at the moment he was currently smashing his fists on the tables and screaming and laughing along with all the others of his kind. And I was not.

That was something I had always secretly envied about him, his ability to make friends in the blink of an eye. With no more than a few words, Cody could have people calling him a friend. I stood alone in the kitchen, suffering through an awkward silence with Gandalf. I finished the drink in my hand and set the half-eaten plate on the counter, suddenly not feeling so hungry anymore.

I was _alone_ in this world.

"Don't be so glum, Miss Holly." Gandalf smiled kindly. "We may not know much at the moment, but there are those in Middle Earth who might know more."

"Do you know who I can ask for help?"

"I know a handful of those who have handled the oddities of our world better than others-" _A simple _yes_ would have been fine._ "-but they will not come to you."

"How far away are they?" I was dreading the answer as soon as Gandalf took a sip of wine - the whole glass - and fixed me with a curious, intense stare.

"I do not know. I don't even know if they _can_ help you." That was very comforting. I could feel my mood taking a turn but forced a smile back on my face. I wondered how convincing I was. "But it's your choice to make. You can chose to venture out and find help, or wait in the Shire for someone to stumble along and help you. Yes, I believe I did overhear one of the dwarves mention you staying here. But dwarves are a stubborn bunch, Miss Holly. Don't let them push you around and underestimate you."

Gandalf set his glass on the counter and his eyes suddenly brightened, smile lighting up his face.

"Oh, this is one of my favorite Khuzdul songs. You should come and listen," Gandalf said, holding out his enormous hand.

"Kuzd-what?"

I simply stood and looked at it for a moment. He wanted me to go into the dining room. I wasn't sure what to do for a moment - I _wanted_ to stay in the kitchen - but his hand was hanging in the air in front of me and I didn't think about it too long before I reached out and grabbed it. Well, grabbed a handful of palm, I guess. His fingers wrapped around my entire hand, engulfing my wrist and leading me out into the hallway with a gentle tug.

_I could stay in the Shire. _Those words kept going through my head. _Warm fires, kind Hobbits, this place is beautiful. I could call it home one day._

The song the dwarves sang wasn't much of a song, as it was a drinking chant. The words completely flew over my head, though. It must have been some foreign language. Kuzd-whatever the Wizard had said. I stood with Gandalf in the small opening to the absolutely cramped and crowded dining room and let go of Gandalf's hand. In a flash and with a loud scream, the entire company lifted their mugs of ale and began to chug. For once, a sort of silence filled the entire house and I wondered if, somewhere, Bilbo was letting out a sigh of relief.

There was a crashing sound as they all began to slam their mugs on the table, ale gushing down their beards; Dwalin first, then Oin, then Bombur...and then the burping started. _Did it even count as a 'win' if most of the drink didn't make it into their mouth?_

I couldn't help but smile as Gandalf leaned down and squeezed himself into the corner of the room, Ori letting out one of the loudest burps that had the rest of them laughing and slapping the tables with their large hands. I felt so out of place, standing there watching Cody finish his ale, squeezed tightly between Oin and Gloin. With his - Dwalin's spare - cloak wrapped tightly around his shoulders, he looked like he belonged (though with much shorter hair and only a little stubble). Gloin slapped Cody on the back when he coughed as the rest began to finish theirs and join in the burping and laughing and celebrating. I still couldn't tell what it that was being celebrated, here.

One of the dwarves seemed to notice me and raised their voice above the others, and I stood frozen in the hallway. God, this must be what deer feel like when a car comes their way, headlight blinding them to the oncoming danger.

"Come on now, don't be shy! There's plenty of room here for you too, Miss Hobbit." I think it was Dori who motioned to me.

"We'll have to bring in another chair-"

"Nonsense, Ori. She's tiny, she can fit here." Dori waved off Ori and grabbed the chair his brother was sitting on. _Tiny_ had never described me before, I was still getting over that when he took his chair in his other hand and scooted them together, making a make-shift bench as the rest of the company continued to laugh and sing.

With both Dori and Ori staring at me expectantly, I pushed past Gandalf - who had to move his knees to let me though - and behind a few other chairs. Two pairs of hands grabbed my shoulders - I splashed a bit of wine during this - and I can't stress enough how horrible it is to feel like a child among adults, joining them at the adult-table for the first time. I was sat down between Dori and Ori, a little too close on each side and a little uncomfortable because the two chairs I was on were different heights. I got as comfortable as I could and Ori set a splashing mug of ale in front of me, pushing my own glass out of the way. I don't think many other dwarves seemed to notice that I joined them, though, and for that, I was very grateful. Two dwarves made me feel enough like a child.

So for a long while, I just watched them all, sitting to the side and sipping the bitter ale and listening to their stories.

"So, Holly, you never told us where you are from. Your accent is quite interesting." That was Ori, politely turning his head and wiping some food from his beard.

I took a long sip of my drink, stalling for time when Gandalf swooped in.

"Across the waters, very far away, I'm afraid." Gandalf's voice was light and cheery, and smoke came out of his nose in a long stream. I had forgotten to ask the old Wizard what I should tell the dwarves if they asked where I was from. I hadn't even thought about my own accent, though their own words and phrases hit me in a weird way. A few of the other dwarves began to smoke their pipes as well and soon the air in the dining room became fuzzy and thick.

"Seattle, didn't you say?" That was Balin, eavesdropping from the other side of the table. "Never heard of such a place."

"There are many places in this world we have not yet heard of," Gandalf countered with a smile to the oldest Dwarf.

Someone (Oin, I think) let out another loud burp and the contest for loudest began again.

Cody joined in, though his own burps were barely audible against the others around him. I smiled a bit and sipped my drink, looking across the large table at him. He was fitting in so well already, would he want to leave the dwarves so soon? I had a choice to stay in the Shire, but Cody didn't seem to see it in the same light that I did. He listened to the stories the others were telling him with an eager expression. He was _adventurous_ and this world suited him better than it did me.

"More ale!" someone screamed, and one of the chairs beneath me shifted. Ori immediately stood and wandered off into the hallway in search of more. _Didn't they go through two barrels already? How were none of them shit-faced yet?_

I noticed a quick movement out of the corner of my eye. Gandalf was waving me over to the corner, and I slid away from Dori and the others to take a seat beside the large Wizard. Again, I was struck by how _huge_ he was! Were all Wizards this big?

"I see doubt on your face." I eyed Gandalf a bit, but he simply watched the dwarves with a mildly interested expression, laughing a bit when one of them told a particularly _colorful_ story, and blowing wispy streams of smoke into the air. After a moment I crossed my arms.

"I am not doubting anything," I grumbled. He only chuckled in response and a large gray ring floated from him to the ceiling. I watched it float above the heads of the men until it faded, joining the murky air around us that smelled thick and stuffy, but not uninviting.

"You will prove to be very useful, I believe." I didn't quite know what to say to that, so I said nothing. "Thorin and many of the dwarves do not see it now, but in time they will see your worth." The name Thorin had been said many times by the dwarves around us, but I had yet to hear more about him other than his name. Did I have to prove any sort of worth to him as well?

"Will they?" _I'm just a Hobbit to them. _I continued in a softer voice, making sure that even Dori or Balin - the closest to us - couldn't eavesdrop. "This is all...too much. We don't _have_ dragons and Ki-well, we do have Kings and Queens but things like this just don't happen. I'm not a fighter or a traveler or anything like that. _I work at Starbucks!_" His brows furrowed at that, eyes still watching the dwarves, and I realized only after the words left my mouth that he didn't know what Starbucks was. "I don't want to go if I will just be in the way or get someone hurt."

Gandalf made a noise and I looked to him, tearing my eyes away from the shuffling dwarves and the irritated Bilbo who had wandered back to cheers and raised mugs. Gandalf took a slow breath.

"I am not wrong about people, Miss Holly. My first impressions never fail me." He gave me an unimpressed look when I quirked an eyebrow. _How could anybody be so sure?_ "In time, even _you_ will see your worth in this world. I do not believe you and your friend were brought here by chance."

"So you _do_ have a theory, then? Do you know why we're here?"

"I have many theories. But no, I do not know with any sort of certainty above pure speculation."

"Of course." I felt my shoulders sink at that.

"But, I do know that this world could hold answers for you. Sitting here in the Shire may be a comfortable life, if you would prefer to stay. _Yes_, you do have a choice," he added, tilting his head down to me. "But answers don't come to those who sit and wait about for them. They are there for _you_ to find. I believe that, if you can, traveling with Thorin and these fine dwarves will get you much closer to what you are looking for."

"Who's Thorin?" I asked, apparently too loudly because Balin's head turned to us as three loud, slow knocks echoed around the house. The dwarves around us fell silent, the singing stopped, and ale that was halfway to mouths dropped slowly back to the table.

"That'd be him," Balin said, leaping to his feet and disappearing to the front door.


	6. Chapter 6

**Coming Home**

_~insanity and co~_

_Author's Note: Ahh, meeting Thorin. This has been something that scared me a bit even before I started writing. I've got a couple of those - scenes that I _know_ have to happen but I really really don't want to write them. Well, I'm glad I didn't give up once bit on this one. Thorin is such a huge character and he has such a presence, I thought it would be so much more difficult to describe than it turned out to be. See? All that sweating over nothing, and now this chapter is ready for reading. :)_

* * *

The silence was quite impressive after Balin left to invite Thorin into the house. Bilbo stood just outside the dining room, eyes fixed on something I couldn't see and Gandalf looked down at me with a calming smile. The front door shut with a loud slam and everyone in the dining room sat still and waited, food and drinks and songs forgotten until a shadow appeared in the doorway.

I couldn't see him from my spot in the corner, but I watched the faces of the dwarves around the table. They erupted into shouts of greetings, calling out and slapping his shoulders and pulling him into the room to sit at the head of the table. Still, I couldn't see him from around Gandalf, but soon the noises died down and I could hear Balin telling Thorin of their own journey to the Shire.

He made small comments and questioned parts of Balin's story, his voice was deeper than most, but not quite as rough as Dwalin's. Whenever he spoke, the others fell silent and I was quite taken aback. Such a loud and obnoxious group brought to complete silence by this _one_ person.

"I don't believe you are part of our company," Thorin said, and by the look on Cody's face - a bit like how I felt when Dori and Ori were staring at me - I knew he was talking to him. He opened his mouth but shut it again quickly, turning to the dwarves around him but none of them offered and explanation for him.

"Well, yes, that's another part of our travels," Balin said with a slightly nervous laugh that put me on edge. Should _we_ be nervous? "In the mountains just east of Bree, we came across these two, stranded and without supplies."

"There's another?"

"Yes, there." I wanted to shoot Balin a look that said 'don't you dare point me out' but it was too late, and suddenly Gandalf was shifting in his seat until he sat clear into the corner and without a chair - still a bit taller than the rest of us - and now I was exposed to Thorin, sitting just a few feet away with a pipe hanging from one side of his mouth. His large coat was lined with fur and he had dark thick hair falling over his shoulders and tangling with his beard. It looked more like a dark lion's mane to me, and I could finally put a face to the name I had heard the dwarves talking about.

He turned to look at me...not even that much, just a tip of his head.

"Hello." Everyone around him had greeted him with kind phrases and loud, booming voices. To myself, I sounded like a squeaking mouse amongst cats.

Thorin turned back to Balin with a look I couldn't explain, but I didn't quite like.

"You found a dwarf and a hobbit in the mountains?" Balin didn't answer and instead shrugged. Thorin turned to Cody and spoke to him over the rim of his mug, taking a long sip and eying the odd - frankly, bizarre - looking dwarf sitting among the rest of them. "What brought you to this area? And in such...unique attire." At this, Thorin glanced down at the bit of Cody's shirt that was showing over the table. Too tight, long sleeved and the words '_Fall Out Boy'_ large and bold across his chest.

I sank a little deeper into my own chair. My shirt and jacket were plain, but my jeans would no doubt stand out against the clothes of the other dwarves and hobbits. I could feel my face heating up a bit, but thankfully, Thorin's attention was still on Cody, thick eyebrows raised as he waited for an answer.

"They are lost," Gandalf cut in, and I swear I saw Cody wipe a bead of sweat off his forehead. "We do not quite know where they are from, and they do not quite know where they are." Thorin turned to glance at Gandalf in the same way he had looked at me; he didn't seem impressed with the old wizard's vague descriptions.

"We couldn't just leave them in the mountains," Balin cut in, his voice happier than the grim voice of Thorin. "They were both sick-"

"But if she had her way, we would have left them alone," Kili cut in with a loud, barking laugh. "She took a good swipe at Balin with a knife and Fili had to hold her back so we could get a look at him and see if he was alright." He nodded over to me and if I wasn't melting into my chair at _one_ pair of eyes on me then I definitely was when almost _all_ of them turned to me, most laughing and Ori leaned over to slap my shoulder.

"You tried to stab Balin?" Thorin asked, and for the first time he looked a little amused. Was that good or bad? He didn't seem worried about me attacking one of his own people; was that confidence in his own mens defenses or a lack in my attack? My mind was whirling with trying to figure that out and trying to _ignore_ the eyes that were watching as I failed to respond quite miserably.

"Well, uh, not really _stab_, actually-"

"She had a little knife. It's actually quite interesting." That was Kili, again, and I turned to give him a look normally reserved for Cody. The 'shut your trap you loud-mouthed ass' look. He only grinned back. "It folds up when she's not using it so it doesn't even need a sheath. I've never seen one like it before."

"Well, let's have a look at this weapon of yours," Thorin said, and I scrambled for a moment to get the knife out of my back pocket. I place it on the table with a shaky hand, and to my own horror, the entire table erupted into laughter.

Okay, so it wasn't a huge knife. It wasn't _meant_ to be huge, that's why they call it a _pocket-knife_ and not a sword.

"How does it fold out?" Thorin asked, and once more, the ever-talkative Kili - damn you, Kili, seriously, _damn you_ - piped up once more.

"Here, I've seen her do it a few times, I bet I can figure it out."

"Five gold says you can't," Fili answered, grinning at his brother from across the table, and the entire room broke out into more yelling and screaming as bets were placed. I glanced over to get a better look at Thorin, and sitting at the head of the table with large fur coats and hair like a mane, he did look quite a bit like the leader of the pack. And with how _quickly_ the dwarves were silenced by his voice alone said more than his appearance did.

"Alright." He paused for a moment while bets were settled and the room was quiet. "Give it a go, Kili."

His dark eyes turned to me and with a start, I realized that the knife was still in front of me on the table. I grabbed it and slid it down to Kili, who caught it quickly and picked it up, looking over the handle.

"That'll be five gold, little brother," Fili laughed, but was hushed by the others around him - most of whom, probably bet that Kili _could_ figure it out.

"Give me a second. I can have a _moment_ to look at this," Kili muttered, flipping the knife over in his palm. "Let's see, I closed it like this..." He found where the small bit of blade was exposed and pinched it, trying to pull the blade free. I grinned a little at this. The knife looked positively _tiny_ in his large hands and he was fumbling around with it like a child, despite the fact that he had several of his own weapons discarded somewhere near the front door.

He tried to tug the blade out and flip the knife over in his hand again, eyebrows drawn together.

"He can't open it!" Dwalin screamed, and with a huff Kili let the knife fall back to the table and the rest of the dwarves began yelling again. A few coins were tossed into the air and caught by those who won bets.

"You open it, then," Kili shouted over the booming voices in the room, sliding it back down the table past Dori and Ori. I grabbed it and pushed the blade further in, then tugged it out. It came free and the dirty little knife that had definitely seen better days, was on the table for everyone to see. Kili frowned but the rest of the table grew even louder, if that was possible. I almost expected Thorin to quiet them down like he had before, but when I turned to look at him I was a little startled.

In his chair Bilbo sat with his hands folded in his lap, watching with worried eyes as a few dwarves left the room, their boots scraping on the floor and everyone now talking about more ale. Thorin - and Gandalf, for that matter - had disappeared.

I had a few more questions for Gandalf, and now that the room's attention was on how loud Oin and Gloin could burp (_without chugging ale_, that's an important detail, I suppose) I slipped out of my chair and left the room.

Now that I was in the hallway the voices were muffled and died down the further I moved into the hill. I had barely realized how warm the house had become until an icy cold breeze had goose bumps racing up my arms. The room I had just past, with a large arching doorway, had a small oval window open just a crack.

I stepped into the room to close it - I swear, that's all I meant to do - when I heard some voices drifting in from outside. Those deep voices were familiar, Gandalf and Thorin had definitely stepped out into the hillside, but I had to be standing just beside the window before I could make out anything they said.

A particularly loud set of screams and cheers made it impossible to hear - Nori and Dori must have found more ale - but when they quieted down again I leaned closer to the window. I couldn't tell where they were, but I kept myself as close to the wall as possible, should they be right outside.

"I wanted fourteen, not _sixteen_. I requested one more to join us to the mountain-"

"You requested a burglar, Master Dwarf," Gandalf cut Thorin off. There was a slight shuffle before the wizard continued in an annoyed voice. "Those were your words, not mine. Now, I decided on Mister Baggins quite some time ago. He is to be your burglar but now it appears he does not want to go on this journey."

A burglar? Bilbo? I glanced over my shoulder and into the hallway but the voices behind me, singing and screaming and chanting, were still muffled and far away. That hobbit that seemed so frightened of the larger men - I don't really blame him, though - and who stammered and sputtered and was so protective of his possessions couldn't _possibly_ be a thief.

"It doesn't seem like everything was explained to him before we arrived."

"He's a Took-" I had no idea what that was or why it would make a difference in Bilbo being a burglar. "-he will come, even if he doesn't know it yet. However, I now believe I have some...insurance for you."

"You mean the she-hobbit. She's your insurance?" Thorin didn't sound too impressed- _Hey!_ That's _me_ they're talking about! Me being insurance?

"Of a sort. That dwarf would no doubt be of use to you as well with a little training. Would you turn your back on your own kind, when he is merely looking for a home? Your tale and his don't seem to be that far off, Master Dwarf." That last bit was said firmly, and I could clearly imagine that huge gray wizard towering over Thorin with a pointed look. I wondered if he would feel that same sense of vulnerability as I had back in Bilbo's kitchen.

"I will speak with Balin," Thorin said, his voice a little further away and I almost didn't catch his words. "We will decide tonight whether we will take the other two."

"Thorin Oakensheild, King under the Mountain, cannot make this decision himself?" Gandalf sounded like he could be laughing at Thorin, but I was taken aback by that last title. _King?_

"What are you doing?" A shadow fell over the window and I hadn't jumped that high in a long time. My heart thundered in my chest, only beginning to settle down when I turned to see Cody's large figure filling up half the doorway, leaning against the side with his arms crossed. "Eavesdropping?"

He grinned and leaped into the room, rushing toward the window I was standing next to and I moved forward, waving my arms so he would keep his damn voice down. That also appeared to be a common theme amongst most of the dwarves. They are loud!

"Shut up and _move_!" I grabbed his elbow and dragged him from the room, stomach sinking a bit because _what if_ they had known someone was listening to them? And how easy would it be for them to figure out that it had been me? "Just go, no! Keep going. This way!" I pushed and pulled Cody down the hallways, not really caring which way we went I just wanted to get away from that room and away from the front door.

"Who's out there?" Cody asked, ripping his arm from my hands and folded them across his chest once more. "I want to know what's got my Holly-kinsies all spooked."

"Do _not_ call me that," I growled out. He simply grinned a bit, but didn't continue to spew out cutesy nicknames.

"Fine, who's out there?"

"No one."

"Oh, it was definitely someone."

"No it wasn't," I shot back shortly, reaching for a mug on the counter because I _really_ didn't want to deal with staring at Cody and his green eyes watching my every twitch and tick. It was only half-full but I swished the ale around in it for something to focus on. "I was listening to the wind."

"It's not windy out." His answer was quick, and I tried to calm myself before sending a cool reply back.

"There's a bit of a breeze."

"Bullshit."

"It doesn't matter." I hissed, keeping my voice low at his pointed look. He was not going to let this go but I wanted him to desperately. He did not need to know that I was some sort of _insurance policy_ in some grand scheme to make Bilbo a burglar, or keep him a burglar, or hire...I really don't know!

"Yes it does!"

"No it doesn't! Why do you have to be so pushy!"

"Who's pushy?" Gandalf's large figure stepped into the kitchen, and this time Cody was the one to jump. He stood awkwardly in such a small cramped space and fixed the two of us with a look I was growing more and more accustomed to as I spent time around the wizard. I had been caught. Or, at least, _one_ of us at been caught.

"No one," Cody answered quickly and I hid my grin by sipping out of the mug of ale still in my hand. Gandalf turned his focus to Cody, not looking too impressed and when he quickly turned to me - eyes wide and pleading - I let the _pushy_ bugger get whatever scolding he deserved.

"Oh, this song sounds fun," I muttered, stepping around Gandalf when the dwarves let out a particularly loud howl of laughter - there _was_ a bit of song I could still hear under the noise - and slipped out of the kitchen.

No doubt, I would be paying for that later.

But now, I thought with a grin and another sip of ale, I would wander the halls of the hobbit-hole under the hill.

* * *

I had only been allowed a few minutes to walk around Bilbo's house before I had been spotted. This time, by Gloin, a particularly elderly dwarf with frizzy gray hair who had been limping down the hallway toward me. He held an insane amount of cups in his arms and with a nod and an odd grunt that someone sounded like a slurred 'come on', I followed him back to where the dwarves had set up their little camp.

There was no more singing or screaming or chanting coming from the room, but I hadn't remembered ever hearing it die down since leaving the kitchen. It had been a constant throughout the entire hill, and I had no doubt poor Bilbo would be getting some nasty looks from his neighbors the next morning.

I followed Gloin into the room and was quite surprised to see Gandalf sitting in the corner once more, along with Thorin at the head of the table and Cody seated back amongst the dwarves. As Gloin passed out a few of the cups and took his own seat beside his brother, Nori moved to make a spot for me, squeezed between him and Dori.

The mood had clearly shifted from the lighthearted celebration before, and I quickly grew uncomfortable while Balin and Thorin whispered to each other.

"Right," Balin started, shooting Thorin one last unsure look before addressing everybody else in the room. "Our original intention was to bring Bilbo Baggins along as our burglar, making our group of thirteen, fourteen. Unfortunately it does not look like he will be joining us." There was just a bit of grumbling, but when Balin raised his hand to shush them they eventually went silent again. "That's alright, that's alright. In his place, I would like to extend an invitation to the two of you."

I had expected more muffled grumblings when Balin paused, but there were none. When I glanced up again, my face burned up. Many of the dwarves were looking to Cody, but many were also looking at _me._

_'The two of you'_. The two of us. They wanted _us_ to join them.

"I'm sorry." I couldn't keep the stammer out of my voice. "I don't really know what it is you're inviting us on."

"Ah, well," Balin muttered, patting the pockets down on his coat until he found what he was after. He pulled out a tattered looking piece of paper and began unfolding it. I couldn't tell what it was until he smoothed it out on the table before him and pushed it to the center of the table.

"Bilbo, would you grab us some light, please?" Gandalf asked, and it wasn't until then that I noticed Bilbo standing just at the edge of the door, curly hair just barely visible from where I was sitting. It disappeared immediately and after a moment, he returned with a lamp.

"There we go, thank you." Balin smiled kindly and took the lamp. Bilbo nodded and stepped back to the door, but remained close, his eyes curiously peering over Thorin's shoulder at the map.

"This is us, right here." Thorin tapped his finger on something in the west, and a small, neat script read _'The Shire'_ over a drawing of small hills. To the east was larger, sharper looking mountains with larger letters, _'Bree', _beside them. This world was so strange and different, I couldn't possibly take in all the names and locations, but I could try. "Here is the Lonely Mountain," he said, voice calm as his finger slid far across the map to the east. In the middle of what looked like an abyss, a single mountain was drawn, tall and higher than any of the ranges around it. "Erabor, our home. Many of us used to live there, though Kili and Fili were far too young to remember the Kingdom."

"We need to travel there and take it back." Balin clapped his hands together and smiled around the table. Take back a mountain. Easy-peasy.

"Take it back? Who's got it now?" Cody asked and there was a bit of shuffling while the dwarves looked to each other, and when I looked back down to the map, I noticed another odd drawing just above the mountain.

"What's that?" I asked, tilting my head to see it at the proper angle. I felt my stomach flip and turn before Dwalin's impossibly deep voice answered.

"Smaug. A dragon."

If it wasn't enough that this place had wizards and dwarves and hobbits...it now had _dragons._ I gulped, not wanted to ask if the drawing was to scale because I _really_ didn't want to know.

"So, we're all going to be battling a dragon to take your home back?" Cody asked, grin impossibly huge as the dwarves let out a loud cheer of excitement, fists raised and feet smashing against the ground. "Oh, I am _so_ in," Cody cried out, laugh booming over the cheers as many of the dwarves around him rose to their feet to slap his shoulder and shake his hand.

"Wonderful!" Balin yelled out with a clap, reaching back into his coat and unfolding a long, _long_ piece of tattered and yellowed paper. "This is a contract. Well, it's meant for one to sign, but I suppose we can make an adjustment..." Balin trailed off, scooting his chair back and letting the piece of paper unfold on it's own as he dragged it behind him out and into the hallway.

Bilbo stepped to the side and watched Balin, with his mouth opening and closing a bit like a fish, until he came back with a feather pen and small jar of ink in his hands.

"Here we go." Balin took his seat again and passed everything over to Ori, who's hand flew over the paper so fast I had no time to every _try_ and figure out what he was doing.

I turned to Cody, but I didn't even know what to say to him. He _wanted_ to go on this journey, to follow these strange people across an entire _map_ and to fight a dragon out of a mountain. They all cheered over the thought of going and doing this and Cody joined right in. He looked like he just _belonged_ and in a way, he already did. Grinning, Cody glanced over the paper that was passed into his hands and took the feathered pen, scribbling his name at the bottom.

In an uproar, everyone around the table let out cheers of congratulations and welcome and both Dori and Nori accidentally knocked me on the head with their elbows as they rose up as well. Everyone was so damn _excited_ to be going and for Cody to be going along with them, but Gandalf's words rang through my mind like a bell. I _could_ stay in the Shire; I had a choice. The rolling hills and deep green grass and leafy trees just screamed welcome home to me. I could stay and easily live happily here, even if it wasn't Seattle. It wasn't _home,_ but I could make it one.

I didn't even notice when Dori placed the paper in front of me on the table. My eyes were fixed on my hands in my lap and my thoughts were far away. They were on home and work and family and friends, when someone coughed beside me and my attention was jerked back to the Shire. To the contract with Cody's name scribbling in his horribly cramped handwriting. To the room filled with dwarves and a wizard and a hobbit, all looking at me with such _expectation_.

I cleared my throat a bit, my stomach did a little flip and for a second I thought I would throw up all over the contract. I was _terrified_ of the idea of this journey. I could die. I always run to hills when anything like this comes my way, I am not one of those people who runs into the burning building to save others. There weren't even _lives_ at stake now, just an old mountain.

My heart was pounding in my chest.

I reached forward with a shaky hand and grabbed the feathered pen, and the uproar began even before I could finish spelling my name. I was, quite literally, signing my life away to these people.

_Holly Marie Morgan._

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_Author's Note: Yep! It's official! Our little Holly is going along on this journey...even if she isn't too enthusiastic. Oh well, Cody's got enough of that for the both of them, anyway. Please leave me a little message and let me know what you thought. I always enjoy any comments! :)_


	7. Chapter 7

**Coming Home**

_~insanity and co~_

_Author's Note: There was a bit of a delay getting this chapter out, but I won't bore everyone with all the details (*ahem* excuses) so here ya go! Chapter seven of Coming Home! Please leave a little note letting me know your thoughts on these characters and what-not so far. :)_

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"Do you really think he'll come?" I asked Gandalf, watching Balin place another contract on the arm of Bilbo's favorite chair with extreme care. Bilbo hadn't come out of his room at all since the dwarves had woken up and began cleaning hours before the sun would rise. It had been quite interesting to watch him race after the group the night before, and I was sure that it would be just as much fun watching him fuss over everything in the morning. The sun was just now starting to rise, and still there was no sign of Bilbo.

I was a little disappointed. I wanted to at least say goodbye or something. The first of my own kind - and the first _gentleman_ - that I had met in this place...I felt a little foolish for assuming that meant anything. I was part of the group of dwarves, and that became official the moment I signed that contract with Cody. And Bilbo had made his feelings clear on this particular bunch of roudy dwarves.

I stood at the front door with Gandalf and Cody, the three of us not having many belongings to gather up. I had secured the cloak around my neck and grabbed the edges, pulling it tighter around me.

The rest of the group was putting swords on their belts and axes across their backs, hiding various knives and even smaller weapons up their sleeves and in their shoes. I think I was finally over the shock of the sheer _volume_ of weapons these men carried...but the axe strapped to Dwalin's back still made me a little wary.

"I do," Gandalf answered firmly, opening the front door and bending low to step out into the cool morning. His staff was beside the front door, leaning against the grassy wall of Bilbo's house and he grabbed it, using it as a walking stick while everyone filed out of the house after him. I glanced back as Cody stepped out, making up the rear end of the group. Bilbo's house was left spotless, just as it was before we arrived. Clean. Tidy. Perfect. I had seen Kili and Fili move his furniture back to their original spots, but someone had also moped up the floor, cleaned the area where all the weapons had been piled and straightened up everything that had been ransacked or pushed off to the side.

The front room was quiet and calm; welcoming and cheerful. I felt another pang of longing to stay in the Shire and enjoy this place. But I had signed that contract, the one currently stuffed into the back pocket of my jeans, and with a sigh I stepped outside and closed the large green door behind me and followed the line of dwarves that weaved around the hillside. I walked behind Cody, holding the cloak tight around my shoulders to keep the chilly morning air from getting to me. The grass was wet with dew under my feet but that soon turned back to dirt - thankfully, not mud! - as we went back through the Shire the way we came. It wasn't long before we passed the small sign tucked away into the grass, tilted just a little off center.

It was a little different traveling with so many other people. I could hear faint chuckling and chattering from up ahead, but they were far too ahead of us for me to hear what they were talking about. There was just a general...cheeryness about the group that hadn't been there when it was just the six of us.

Fifteen. That didn't sound like much but each dwarf was walking single file and when I was at the top of a small hillside, I could look down and see all the braids and weapons and shaking shoulders as a few of them shared jokes and stories. I brought up the end of the group, turning back to take a final glance at the Shire.

Would there be any other places like this? Or would it all be like the mountains where me and Cody were found? Cold, empty, creepy...if _that_ was what I had to look forward to until we got rid of a dragon, I was seriously rethinking my involvement in this. And my thoughts didn't exactly lighten up when I thought about that dragon. A _dragon_. Breathing fire and hooks like spears and teeth like a sharks. How does someone even go about fighting one? About _killing _one?

I had been so lost in thought when the group came to a stop that I jumped a bit when I walked straight into Cody's back.

"What's going on?" I asked, craning my neck to see over his shoulder. I couldn't, of course. I would have been able to if I was my normal height and he, his...but I couldn't see squat from here.

"We get ponies." Cody did his little happy-hop-skip and clapped his hands, looking like the happiest little girl on Christmas morning who actually got a pony from Santa Clause after a year of misbehaving.

"Ponies?" I asked, not quite sure if he was awake enough to know what he was talking about but as soon as Cody raced forward I heard a few of them snort and huff and I finally saw them. Those were not ponies, they were _horses_. Full sized and tied to one of the last fences in the Shire with large packs thrown over their backs. I had no idea how many there were, but the dwarves each seemed to claim one, throwing their belongings over the backs and easily hopping onto them.

"Move the food over to this one." Thorin's voice carried over the chatter of the dwarves as everyone picked a pony and saddled up. Balin and Dwalin were grabbing some packs and shuffling them around - one of the poor ponies looked like it wanted to take a bite out of Balin's beard when the older dwarf threw a heavy looking bag over it's butt.

"This'll be yours," Bofur said, and I realized with a start that he was talking to me and pointing over to a smaller looking gray pony. Oh, of course, give the _hobbit_ the tiny pony. "You'll have to ride along with the pots and pans, I hope you don't mind." He grinned, untied the pony's reins and brought it over, giving it's neck a pat. "Here you go."

And with that, I was left to stare up at my pony with reins in my hands, and absolutely no idea what to do next. It had several bits of rope over it's back, tying on all the cookware in place. It stared back at me, and I wondered if it was as confused as I was. I would probably be puzzled in it's place, with noisy things tied to my back and odd people climbing around on all my friends. The pony shifted and made a surprising amount of noise and I jumped back.

By now, most of the dwarves were on their own ponies, and I felt more and more like an idiot. How do I even get on one of these things? It didn't have a saddle like the others did, I noticed, and it was quite a jump from the ground to it's back, even if it _was_ one of the shorter ones.

"Darle's a sweetie, don't be shy." That was Bombur and before I had even gotten a glimpse of him, hands were on my waist and I was tossed into the air, falling quite clumsily with one leg on either side of the pony and a pan's handle in a quite uncomfortable spot under a buttcheek. I clung to Darle's gray mane, frozen in place and I couldn't _un-_freezeeven when I realized that Bombur had actually _helped_ me. Although that chuckle made me think he knew I would make a noise akin to a squirrel being catapulted into the air. It's hair - or is it fur? - was coarse but long and with one hand gripping the reins for dear life my other was burried in it's mane, tightening with every shift the pony made.

And that was the first time I had ever ridden a pony. Shocking, right? I, clearly, was a natural. (Sarcasm at it's finest.)

As quickly as we had stopped, the group slowly began to file back onto the pathway. I felt even more awkward now, sitting on my pony with a pan's handle under my butt and Bofur fixing me a weird stare from his own, dark horse.

He let out a loud yell, something that sounded like 'ba-haa-gloo' and he kicked his pony into a walk.

And here I was, all alone in the Shire while the butts of the pony's ahead of me got smaller and smaller.

"Okay, Darle, let's go." I winced and grabbed her mane tighter, eyes squinted shut because I was sure she would take off like a rocket once I kicked her sides. No. Instead, she just shifted from hoof to hoof and...just _stood_. "This isn't cute, you know." I scolded, but that didn't seem to help much, either. _"Go!"_

Either that was the magic word or she didn't quite like the way I was accidentally pulling on her mane. She took off like a bullet, _much_ faster than I had expected and so much rougher! With each quick step I was left flying through the air, and let me tell you I was really starting to think I should just grab that pan under my butt and throw it behind us...food be damned because it was really starting to hurt.

"Stop! Stop stop stop stop stop!"

I could hear Bofur and a few other's laughing as my '_sweetie_' of a pony came racing up the path and came skidding to a stop right before running into the pony in front of us. God! Finally! Finally she just _walked_, which was all I wanted in the first place. A normal, comfortable, _walk_ that didn't have me nearly falling off with every jolting leap.

After a moment or two, I finally felt comfortable enough to let go of her mane - eww, my hand was all sweaty - and just hold onto the reins, rough like old leather in my grasp.

"Wait! Hold on!" I could hear someone yelling over the group, but Bombur let out a bellow of a laugh from ahead and I couldn't hear what anyone said next. I tried to turn and look behind us, but twisting on a pony is not as easy as it looks.

Before I could get the _sweetie_ Darle to turn around so I could see who was behind us, Bilbo came flying past us and my gray pony gave a little jump which gave _me_ a freaking heart attack! That's it, back to clutching her mane for dear life, it is. Have it your way, you jumpy _cow_.

"I've signed it! I've signed it!" Bilbo was screaming, and I noticed he had a piece of paper trailing behind him, waving in the air until he disappeared up the trail and I lost sight of him.

But he was _here_. With us, and he signed the contract that I had signed earlier.

I really couldn't help but smile. I wouldn't be the only hobbit on this journey, meaning - putting Cody aside - I wouldn't be alone. In the height department, at least.

I couldn't hear what everyone was saying up there, but I could hear the command Thorin yelled back at us and the ponies continued on, single-file down the path. There was a squeak - hey, I'm not the only one! - and I can only assume that one of the dwarves grabbed him in the same man-handle-y way that I had been grabbed, and thrown onto his own pony.

"Don't you feel like a pirate?" Cody called back, only separated by Bofur, who didn't respond at all. Could he even understand us? Because I surely couldn't understand him.

"A pirate?" I called out, unsure if I had heard him correctly. I definitely didn't feel like a pirate. Bruised butt and feet bare and the only thing for warmth other than my thin jacket being a borrowed cloak. No, nothing about this felt like a _pirate_ to me.

"Yeah, come on! There's a map, we're going on a quest, there's ponies-"

"I wasn't aware that all pirates rode ponies," I called out, cutting him off.

"Only the awesome ones," he yelled with a laugh. "I bet if Johnny Depp could ride a pony he would."

"He would need a horse, not a pony, idiot!"

I could see Cody's hand waving me off in the air over Bofur's shoulder and for a long time we just walked. Well, we all sat while our ponies walked. I was beginning to feel a little bad for Darle, despite the fact that she was an irritating little pony that no doubt left a handle-shaped bruise on my butt from her first little stunt. The dwarves ahead of us all carried bags and large packs and heavy weapons, but Darle carried both me and all of the cookware. _All_ of the cookware...for _sixteen_ people, now. I felt uncomfortable sitting on a pan but I'm sure Darle wasn't exactly in heaven, waddling around with all of this on her back.

I leaned forward just a tiny bit to pat her neck, maybe to make a bit of peace with her, but her head jolted up sharply and she let out a loud snap. A _snap! _Was that her _snapping _at me? Yep, definitely no peace between hobbit and pony, here. I jumped a bit and leaned back. I would have to make sure to keep as _far_ from Darle's _snappy_ teeth as possible...and maybe trade her for a different pony when we stopped for a bit.

Little did I know that our break wouldn't come for hours and _hours_. And let me tell you, hours and hours don't exactly fly by when all you're doing is sitting on a pony that doesn't even like you, staring at the back of Bifur. I did think more about home during that first day of traveling, about friends and family and my house and my cat. I had been meaning to paint my bedroom in a week or so when I got paid and had even picked out a pretty lavender color...I think the chips were still on my kitchen counter. It would have been a small task, but I was looking forward to it for weeks just to get rid of that God-aweful pasty mucus green. I missed everything I used to hate in that horrible gut-wrenching heart-sinking feeling of homesickness. Even my bus ride to work sitting next to the man in the suit with a disgusting amount of cologne on was starting to sound nice because it would mean I was _home._

I eventually had to push all of those longing thoughts of home as far from my mind as possible, because it was really getting depressing how much I missed all the stuff I used to hate. Cleaning Bean's litter box, being my brother's designated driver, dinner with my grandparents... It was sad, really. I couldn't completely rid the thoughts from my mind, but I tried harder to focus on the task at hand. We would travel with Gandalf and the dwarves, and hopefully come across someone who knew about our situation, someone who could help us get back.

Ahh, that was it. If I focused on feeling determined to get home, I felt less like crying and more like kicking little Darle into high-gear to get there faster - well, okay, no kicking the pony into a run. That would be a disaster waiting to happen.

We climbed a few rolling hills, crossed a stream and also _that_ river that - I shudder just thinking about it - I had to be carried across. Water splashed up at my feet and legs, threatening to soak my jeans again and I quickly brought my feet up, balancing horribly on Darle's back with my legs pulled up onto her shoulders. None of the pony-ride into the wilderness was pleasant, but we kept going, making no move to stop or take a break longer than for a quick pee in the bushes as I followed the line of dwarves ahead of me.

At one point, I was sure I had fallen asleep, driven to snoozing by the sway of the pony under me and the gentle breeze that was slowly warming up as the sun climbed higher in the sky. I even stopped clutching at the cloak around me and let it fall to my sides. Sure, my jacket and jeans were exposed now, but everyones back was to me, so I didn't feel as exposed as I had in Bilbo's house the night before.

I jolted awake - or at least awake from whatever half-doze I had been in for who knows how long - to the pony's slowly climbing higher and higher. I had to grab onto Darle's reins as we moved up a steep hill, working our way side to side as we zig-zagged along this narrow path. The pots and pans clanged on her back and with a particularly nasty jolt I grit my teeth because that pan's handle was now going to leave a horribly shaped purple mark, smack on my bum. We were taking a different route back, I noticed once I got my breath back from that bump. None of this looked familiar at all.

Tall trees surrounded the path, and while they weren't so close together that I couldn't make out anything past the trunks and branches, I couldn't see any mountain over the tops. I only assumed that we were going around the mountain, but when I leaned forward just a tiny bit to ask Cody what he thought, Darle's head snapped up sharply and I jumped back.

So I sat back, gave Darle a little glare, and just _sat._

And _god_ was it getting old to just sit! I had heard a few stories from my friends who had traveled across the country, and I suppose this would be the equivilant of them telling me everything second by second. From them standing in line after line at the airport to them sitting for hours and hours on the plane to them waiting in line to rent a fucking car. Bo-ring!

The sun had gone up well into the sky, and I tried to keep busy by guessing the time based on the sun's location, but after a few minutes even _that_ got boring and I was clearly no good at it. I was so bored of being bored.

Finally, _finally_ we came to a stop after a particularly rough little bought of climbing and zigzagging our way up a hill. At some point on our trip, everyone ahead of me had fallen silent, the only sound being the noises from the ponies - Darle being a particularly fussy one - and the occasional grunt of a dwarf or an outcry from Bifur which I _still_ couldn't understand.

I could hear a few voices ahead of us and now that we weren't on such a narrow path, everyone gathered together and started to get off their ponies.

That was another problem I hadn't forseen. If I couldn't get _on_ the pony, how was I supposed to get _off_?

"Need help?" Cody asked, walking up to me with his own dark-colored pony following obediently behind him.

I made a point not to look at him because I knew he was grinning like a maniac.

"No, I'm fine," I sniffed, picking at the old leather in my hands.

"Really? Because someone had to throw you on her in the first place-" he seemed to have the same train of thought as me and stepped closer, letting the reins in his hands drop. Oh _hell_ no! "-it seems like the only way to get you down is to pull you off."

"Don't you _dare_!" Too late. Cody leaped forward before I could effectively kick him away. He caught my ankle and with a loud crash of pots and pans and _me_, everything came tumbling off of Darle's back and onto the grass. That damn pan handle was now jabbing into my back, and I quickly scrambled up and kicked it away, furious as Cody took a few steps back, grabbed the reins of his own pony and skipped away.

"You bitch! He pulled me down!" I yelled, turning to Bofur when I noticed Cody was too far to hear me.

"I'll show you how to get on and off bareback tomorrow, but for now this little lady needs to go graze." Bofur grabbed the reins of that "little lady", who I swear to God enjoyed having me dragged down off of her, and lead a few of the ponies to a patch of grass just a little ways off from where everyone was gathering. Bombur and Bifur came over and gathered up the mess of pots and pans, and I grabbed a few as well, feeling a little bad that all of their stuff was just getting tossed around.

Bombur just shrugged off my apology and Bifur made a bizarre gesture with his hand, holding a few bowls under his other arm. It almost looked like he was flipping me off, but he was grinning ear to ear and sharply turned to follow Bombur. I stood, bewildered and my butt more than a little sore after sitting on something as uncomfortable as a pan on a pony's back. But then I noticed that Oin and Gloin were building a fire near a stone wall, far away enough from the cliff's edge that none of us would be rolling off in the middle of the night, and I joined them, trying to walk off a bit of the stiffness in my legs.

"Soup for dinner, tonight!" Bombur yelled out, pulling several packages from a bag and placing everything next to the growing fire. A few of the other's muttered back to him as he busied himself with the meal and I smiled a bit; I should have guessed that Bombur would be the cook. He clearly had a thing for food, as I remembered from both the Inn in Bree and at Bilbo's house.

And when my stomach let out a particularly loud whine, I remembered that I did too. All my anxiety about being homesick and thrown onto a horse that hated me and setting off from a place that felt like it could have been a home was gone and it felt like I was coming down from an adhrenaline rush. My arms and legs felt achey and even though I knew I was hungry, something like a switch flipped and I thought for just a moment I might be sick. I started to breath slowly, in through my nose and out through my mouth, and found the fresh scents of the forest to be more soothing than I expected. The feeling passed within a minute.

There were a few scrawny bushes that lined the cliff's edge, and beyond that I could see the rolling hills and patches of trees past the mountains. There wasn't a light in sight, aside from the deep orange of the setting sun, of course. No houses, no towns, no nothing. We were out in the wilderness. Alone. And who knew how long it would be until we came to another town? I hadn't taken a very good look at the map last night, but aside from some mountains and a few words, it didn't look like this place was extremely populated.

"We can set up a few blankets for you over here," Balin said, passing by me with a heaping pile of blankets in his arms. I followed the older dwarf, weaving around the others to the stone wall and hopping over the pile of food Bombur had laid out before the fire. Unlike at Bilbo's house, there was no designated pile for the larger weapons. Everyone who was settling down with a blanket and a pack to mark their spot had their knives, swords, or axes laying right next to them, no more than a few inches away.

I had no idea what was out there and what would be crawling around the mountains at night, but I decided with a gulp that if everyone was essentially sleeping with a gun under their pillow, that we weren't alone out here. This world had hobbits, dwarves, dragons...I shuddered to think of what sort of creepy crawly things would be coming out of the woodwork once the sun was fully down.

I patted my jeans, finding my pocket knife snug in my front pocket and I felt a little bit better just knowing it was there.


	8. Chapter 8

**Coming Home**

_~insanity and co~_

_Author's Note: Not much of a note. Just saying hello and thanks for keeping up with this story! A special thanks to those who favorite and follow - I love hearing what everyone has to say and how many people like this story enough to want to read more. :)  
_

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"I'm so hungry!" Cody cried out, his dark cloak wrapped around his shoulders even though he didn't seem as bothered by the chilly air as I was. He had been pouting and groaning and moaning ever since the smell of food began to draw most of the dwarves to the fire. I had attempted to take a nap on my own bundle of blankets, but that uneasy feeling had never left my stomach, and the chilly air made it difficult to relax. Cody may be able to handle cold weather better than I could, but hunger? The complaints were never ending.

"I know, you've been saying it for how long now?" I snapped and right as Cody turned sharply, mouth open and eyebrows drawn together - witty comeback on his tongue, no doubt - Bombur lifted the large spoon from the stew and smacked it on the edge to get the extra bits off. Ori had been letting out a particularly loud yell, it sounded like he was telling his brothers a story, but fell silent halfway through his mock-battle cry. It was quite comical how many eyes turned to watch ever move Bombur made...when it concerned dinner, that is.

"It'll be ready when it's ready." Bombur grinned, peeping over the brim of the large pot to check on it again.

Now that the sun was setting further into the horizon, the air on the mountainside grew cold...fast. I sat with my knees pulled up and as close to the fire as possible, cloak pulled tight around my legs and shoulders and folded under my feet. I tried to bundle myself up as tightly as I could and the heat from the fire was finally beginning to warm me up, though it felt like it took it's damn time to do so!

I sat beside Bombur, watching with a few other very hungry dwarves as he stirred the pot and added this and that whenever he deemed necessary. Bifur had been shooed away many times, and always responded in the same sharp words I couldn't understand and a bizarre gesture. But this last time - when he had grabbed a spoon from the pile of utensils and tried to get a sample when Bombur's back was turned, the clever-bastard - Nori pushed him away and pointed to where a few of the others were gathered, farther from the cliff and close to where the ponies were grazing.

I could hear a few grumbled words drift over to us, but I had no desire to leave the fire or dinner, so I stayed put when Bifur left us and joined them.

Nori came back to the fire and sat between his brothers, shaking his head and muttering something to them I couldn't hear. His sour mood brightened immediately when Bombur shifted with a groan to grab the large pile of bowls and dragged them to his side.

"Ahh, is dinner ready?" Bilbo asked, sitting down with a heavy sigh beside me and looking hopefully to where Bombur was spooning something into a few bowls. I had seen him talking with Gandalf and Thorin and the others and though I was curious about what they were talking about - and why it meant they had to be off in the cold instead of by the fire with the rest of us - but I was just as distracted as the rest of them. Just then, a breeze blew my way and I got a fresh whiff of it.

Maybe I wasn't going on and on about my hunger like Cody was but my stomach was beginning to feel cold and achy and Bombur's cooking was smelling _amazing_.

"Yeah, some sort of stew-"

"Rabbit. Kili snagged a few of these before that last climb," Bombur interrupted me, though I didn't mind. He grinned and continued to fill bowls with the stew, passing them over to Bofur who, in turn, passed them on to everyone else. "Oh, where are my manners! I should have remembered we have a lady here." Bombur grabbed another bowl and hastily filled it up to the brim, passing it to me with a chuckle. "Ladies...fifth, I'm afraid."

"Thank you." I really didn't care at all about the whole 'ladies first' deal. I had grown up with _brothers_. There was only grab what you can and stuff it in your mouth because if you don't, someone else will snatch it off your fork. I smiled and clumsily caught the spoon that Cody tossed at me. The bowl was already warming my fingers and that uneasy feeling of being in the middle of _nowhere_ was starting to ebb away because I actually had _food_ (and bread was beginning to count as negative food in my books). "Take notes, Cody. You could learn something about being a gentleman from him."

Cody stuck his tongue out at me and was distracted immediately because there was now a bowl of stew being handed to him as well.

Any and all chatter that had been going around the fire died when everyone had dinner in their hands.

Rabbit was something I had never had before. I stirred the stew and dug to the bottom, picking up some bits of carrots and what looked like chicken. It smelled a bit like chicken, too.

_This is not the cute fluffy animal I love...this is not a rabbit._ The first bite was slow as I tested it out._ This _is _chicken_, I decided, planting my attention firmly on my stew and the way its warmth spread through my chest and stomach because Ori and Dori started talking about how difficult it is to hunt small animals on horseback.

"Do you like it?" Bilbo's voice was quiet, but he was right next to me and one of his hairy feet almost touched my covered ones. I had been trying very hard to forget about that particular change, and having his so close to mine was making it difficult to forget the thick hair sprouting from the top of my own feet.

"Yeah, Bombur did a great job," I said around a mouthful.

"At first I thought you were from Gladden Fields, there are still some hobbits in that area, but Gandalf mentioned you were from across the water." It wasn't a direct question, but I could hear the same sort of curiosity I often hear in Cody when he's trying to get some information out of me.

"When did you all talk about that?" It came out a little quicker than I had meant, and he looked over quickly, hand raised as if to calm me down because I sounded offended.

"We didn't all talk about it. It was just us; me and Gandalf, I mean. I was curious. It's not often we see hobbits not from this area. Forgive me for prying." For a moment Bilbo turned to see where the rest of the dwarves were gathered, still talking though now they each had a bowl in their hands. I waited until he turned back to the fire.

"No, it's fine. And yes, I'm from across the water." Was that like saying America was "across the pond" from Europe? Did they even have _oceans_ here? I thought back to the salty air and cold breezes that I had grown up around.

"And your friend as well?" Bilbo asked, eyes flickering from his dinner to where Cody was sitting across the fire, watching Ori's story with a wide-eyed, very childlike curiosity on his face.

"Yes."

"Do hobbits and dwarves often live together at your home?"

"We don't live together. We're just old friends. I met him when we were in school and every now and then we get together and have a drink or something." I stopped short here, but I could see Bilbo glance over when I paused to eat some dinner. "This is actually the longest I've been around him in a long time."

I wiped the corner of my mouth, finally feeling warm and full and content - something that had escaped me all day - even just sitting around a fire with _chicken_ stew and watching Cody laugh along with Dori and Nori, because Ori was now pushing his nose up to mimic something.

"You must have traveled very far to get here. I've never been this far from the Shire before." I looked over at Bilbo who was now watching the horizon where the sun was only minutes from setting behind a wispy layer of clouds. It cast a dark orange light across the hills, and in no time the only light we would have is the fire in front of me.

"Yes, it's been quite a while since I've been home," I said slowly, feeling uneasy because it had only been days since I was last home.

But days to travel so far wouldn't make any sense in this world...and I was different enough without adding insanity to the list. There were no planes, I had seen no train tracks, and cars were clearly far too advanced. All they had here were ponies and horses to travel by, and it had taken us three days to get where a car could have taken us in a few hours.

"You are still good friends?"

"Somewhat." I shrugged. I didn't really want to explain our entire relationship over a fire with Cody sitting not too far away. Maybe some other time.

"Enough to travel together, though." Bilbo pointed out with a cheeky grin.

"Yeah, well. He still drives me nuts," I grumbled, looking back down at my stew and scraping the bottom of the bowl for some more chicken and carrots.

"He spoke the world of you in the Shire," Bilbo said, stopping suddenly because he - once again - was telling something he apparently shouldn't have. He recovered from his sputtering and added, "I think that's part of why Thorin agreed to let you come along."

I bit my tongue...hard. I knew why Thorin allowed - or, was forced to allow - me to come, and it had more to do with Bilbo than it did Cody. But I didn't want to tell the hobbit that. I could keep a secret fairly well, and me being a source of _insurance _for the dwarves - ensuring Bilbo would come along on the quest - would just be one of those secrets.

"Whatever he told you, he's lying." Bilbo found this funny, and that's where our conversation trailed off. We drank the rest of our stew when all of the _chicken_ and carrots were gone and gave our bowls back to Bombur where they were washed and put away. I sat between the large dwarf and Bilbo for a long while, wrapped up in my cloak and enjoying the warmth of the fire and the way that Dori told us stories of the Blue Mountains.

After a little while, when the sun had been down for a long time and the dwarves and wizard who had stepped away from the fire for dinner had joined us again, I finally felt like I could fall asleep. So I thanked Bombur for dinner and Ori and Dori for the stories, and found my pile of blankets. The air over here was much colder and now that my feet weren't covered by my cloak, I almost wanted to run back to the fire and just sleep over there. But I quickly grabbed the blankets and buried myself under them.

Next to me, a little closer to the large rock wall, were a few other blankets laid out with weapons beside the packs - I'm guessing makeshift pillows. A large axe leaned against the rock wall, and I felt around my jeans for my own pocket knife, wanting that little bit of security as I fell asleep.

I pulled it out and flipped it open, running my fingers along the dull side of the blade. I couldn't look at it in the darkness, but I could feel the metal against my skin, warmed by my own body heat. I did feel better, but I wondered how long everyone would be sleeping like this...ready for an attack at any moment.

I fell asleep uneasy, but warm enough and full.

* * *

Those small, wispy clouds that had shone a bright blue in the setting sun had grown overnight, and now the sky was filled with gray and threatened to rain down on us.

My sleep had been short, but this time I had woken up to the sound of voices and people shuffling around loudly...not a kick to the back, and I was very thankful for that. Even though the clouds made it impossible to tell what time it was, it was very dark and I assumed early when everyone gathered around Bombur for breakfast.

Thorin had told us to hurry, eat breakfast, gather our stuff - easy for me - and to get our ponies ready to go before it started raining. We hadn't been fast enough, apparently. Just as I held my hand out to get a bowl of breakfast (I think it was some sort of bland, watery oatmeal) a drop of water hit my wrist. The sky wasted no time, and as the breakfast bowls were cleaned and put up on Darle's back it began pouring down on us.

I pulled the hood of my cloak up and over my head, and struggled (with the wonderful help of Bofur) onto Darle's back. The hood fell far past my face and I wrapped the rough material tightly around me to keep me dry. I thought about pulling my feet up onto Darle's shoulders again, but we were once again climbing rough inclines, and I hard a hard enough time staying on her back as it was. I did feel a little bad for Darle, though, and tried once more to make a bit of peace by patting her neck.

She didn't snap back at me, and she didn't throw her head back in - what I thought was - annoyance.

Progress!

I was near the back of the group once more, surrounded by Bifur and Oin who didn't do much in the way of conversations...and when they did, I had no idea what they were saying. So I hunkered down on Darle's back with my shoulders and head slowly getting wet because the cloak Fili had given me was clearly not waterproof.

After passing over a quick-moving river - I still had to pull my feet up onto Darle's back to keep them from getting splashed - Thorin told everyone to take a break and let the ponies have a drink of water. I was finally able to do it by myself, and I proudly (and clumsily) slid off of Darle's back without bringing all the food and cooking supplies down with me. No more being dragged down on her ass, for this girl!

The firm ground under my feet was very appreciated after dangling in the air for so long, and the moment I let go of Darle's reins she followed the other ponies to the side of the river where they all drank.

"Staying dry?" Ori asked, his bangs soaked and falling into his eyes. He had to keep brushing them to the side.

"Trying to, it's not working out so well," I answered, feeling bad for Ori who looked horribly miserable. Growing up surrounded by rain and snow, while it didn't make me _like_ it, made me _used_ to it.

"I'm afraid it can't be avoided," he answered, furiously shaking his head and shoulders and throwing most of the water off and onto the rest of us.

"Perhaps it can," Dori said when the cries of protest had quieted, turning from us to yell at the wizard. "Gandalf? Can't you do something about this rain? We'll be drowning soon enough!"

Gandalf's reply was cut short by a loud cry and splash from one of the horses. Just over Ori's shoulder I saw the familiar gray pony in the water, splashing and thrashing and everything that had been tied to her back was gone. I pushed my way between the stunned dwarves, racing to the edge of the river.

"Get Darle!"

"Grab the food!"

"Get that pot!" Bombur cried out, running as fast as he could as his favorite pot hopped around in the fast-moving water. There was so much splashing it was hard to tell who was doing what, and I felt helpless on the riverbank, my feet feeling like ice, and I was only up to my ankles. Fili and Kili burst into the water and were grabbing for Darle and Gloin was splashing around, lunging after any of the supplies he could. Bombur was huffing and puffing, following the river downstream where a large black pot was bobbing up and down in the current.

Slowly, the splashing and crying from Darle was pushed to the edge of the water by Kili and Fili on either side of her, and when her reins were whipped in my direction, I made a mad grab for them. Which was a terrible idea, of course. A pony flailing around versus me.

All I knew was that suddenly my ankles weren't the only thing freezing cold. I was pulled into the water when Darle threw her head back once more, her cries and the rain and the screams of the dwarves disappeared and water rushed into my ears and mouth.

My nose and throat burned and I felt frozen for a moment, not quite realizing that I had been thrown into the freezing water by my own pony...the one that I had _just_ thought was coming around. Something grabbed my arm and all of a sudden the crying and splashing was loud again. The cold air I gasped in made my throat burn even more and I finally started to kick against the water and find the ground, scrambling back to riverbank with something pushing me against the current.

"I'm fine," I answered quickly, not really hearing what Cody was saying but he dragged me onto the grass and his voice was jabbering in my ear nonstop.

Fili and Oin were calming Darle down further downstream and Kili stood knee-deep in the water, as soaked as I was from head to toe and watching in dismay as Gloin returned to the riverbank with just one small bag of the supplies.

For a long while, nobody said anything. We stood shivering in the misting rain and looking around and figuring out which supplies we still had and how much food we had. Nobody spoke about how long it would last - our hungry stomachs were an unspoken horror hanging over us all.

"Get back on your ponies! We'll go another kilometer and stop for the night," Thorin said, having already climbed back on his own. He urged it forward and the rest of the dwarves quickly mounted their own.

"Thank you for grabbing her," I said, trying to keep my teeth from chattering when Fili lead Darle over to me. She let out a huff of breath but he quieted her down, stroking her nose.

"She's calmed down now." Fili smiled, water dripping from his beard and hair. He offered me his hand and I let him pull me to my feet. "Do you need help up?"

"Thank you. I think I can do it, Bofur taught me yesterday." He nodded and turned to get on his own pony. It wasn't easy or flawless, like how some of the others seemed to just hop on like it was nothing, but I took Darle's reins and climbed onto her wet back. There was suddenly so much room up here, but I tried really hard not to think about everything that had just been flushed down the river. Our food...our supplies... When would we have a chance to get more?

"I got it! I got it!" Bombur yelled between gasping breaths, racing up the riverbank from downstream and holding the large black pot over his head like a trophy. He grinned from ear to ear despite the fact that he was as soaked as I was. I smiled a bit but couldn't join in his happiness completely on Darle's bare back.

The large dwarf paused for just a moment, looking around at the back of the dwarves as they left before he seemed to kick back into high gear. His own pony stood further from the river - I'm sure all of them had been scared of the noise and splashing - and he climbed on, setting the pot on his pack and setting off after the group with a kick.


End file.
